Walk away and I stumble
by Phoebe Halliwell
Summary: This is a Harry Severus story dedicated to my big sister, Sarah even though she doesn't read FF. This is all about Harry and Severus' life together, a little bit of Voldemort and also some male pregnancy. Don't forget to review. SLASH MPREG!
1. Chapter 1

Walk away and I stumble

Harry Potter was no longer the savour of the wizarding world mainly because he had stepped down and gone into hiding, no one knew where, well, almost no one. Harry couldn't afford to buy his own place, not financially of course because he almost had more money than the Malfoy's but because that meant he could be traced, something he wanted to avoid.

So Harry had sought refugee in the one place where he trusted that he would be safe from the prying eyes of the wizarding world. He had escaped to Snape Manor, it wasn't as big as Malfoy Manor but it suited the two of them very comfortably.

Severus liked his own space and his privacy, Harry honoured that and also kept himself to himself. There was a large library at the manor which kept Harry occupied pretty much all the time while Severus stuck to his potions lab.

However the two had been fighting their true feelings for a while, it was one evening when they there both sat in the sitting room the fire blazing in the hearth, Harry was on the sofa reading as always and Severus was marking essays.

Severus had decided to come home for the Christmas holidays and keep Harry company even though he hadn't asked this off the older man. Harry however was glad of this and more than welcomed the opportunity to spend some time with the older wizard.

The fire was warming Harry in a pleasant way, the sound of the crackling of the wood was almost lulling him to sleep, his eye lids were drooping. The book in his hand fell to the ground with a thud and Harry awoke with a start.

"You dozed off" Severus commented, "I suggest that you go to bed."

Harry however was not paying attention he grumbled something unintelligible and fell back to sleep, Severus just sighed and placed his quill down, he too was tired and would finish the essays tomorrow. He got up and headed over to the sofa where he picked Harry up bridal style and carried him up the stairs.

Harry's room was only down the hall from his own, the rest of the manor was shut off, the two of them didn't need the extra space, the dinning room was also closed off and they ate in the kitchen, the formalities of eating in the dinning room.

Severus carried Harry into his room and lay him down on his bed, pulling the covers over him, Severus had to admit that the teenager did look adorable and not to mention vulnerable in his sleep worthy state.

Severus sighed as he tucked the blanket around Harry and conjured up a hot water bottle because despite the fire the room was a little chilly. Severus sighed and turned to leave, no voice called him back, no whispered sigh escaped Harry's lips only an ungraceful snore.

He shut the door with a soft click before heading to his room where he changed for bed himself; however he didn't quite manage to reach his bed. One of his three house elves appeared in front of him with a soft pop.

"I am sorry to disturb you sir but you has a visitor sir." The house elf squeaked, Severus sighed.

"Very well Missy, tell them I will be down shortly." The house elf nodded, bowed a ridiculously low bow and then disappeared with another soft pop.

Severus pulled on his black cotton dressing gown over black silk pyjamas and slipped his feet into fluffy black slippers, before he left he looked back longingly at his bed, it looked warm and inviting.

Downstairs Albus Dumbledore was waiting in the entrance hall, Severus at once thought of Harry asleep upstairs but quickly tried to forget, he couldn't let Dumbledore find out about the whereabouts of the boy.

"Albus, what can I do for you this evening, would you like to have some tea?" Severus offered being polite, he noted that the headmaster's cloak was still hung around his shoulders.

"No, I cannot stay long but have a job for you to fulfil, I am sorry that I have visited you so late but Sybil has just made another prophecy involving Harry." As Albus said this Severus once again thought of the boy upstairs and wondered why the fates couldn't just leave him alone. "She has predicted that Harry will soon be with-child that is of course if he is not so already. I need you to find him."

"Anything else that you require of me Albus?"

"No, that is it, I will make sure that you will not have to worry about any other assignments I may have given you to complete."

With a sweep of his cloak Dumbledore left Snape Manor, Severus shut and locked the door behind him before heading back up to bed. On his way he checked in on Harry again but he was still fast asleep tucked up in bed.

He couldn't help but think that Dumbledore knew more about Harry's whereabouts then he was letting on but he pushed all those thoughts to the back of his mind and prepared for bed again.

However three hours later Severus was awoken by a loud hammering on the front door, he scrambled out of bed and down the hall, Harry too was awake out of bed, wand in hand.

"Wait here Harry, if you hear anyone coming then hide behind the bookshelf." Severus indicated towards the shelving unit to one side of Harry's room.

"Who do you think it is?" Harry asked.

"I think it may be Dumbledore coming to find you, just stay hidden if you want to stay gone." Severus advised Harry nodded and made his way over to the shelf of books, pulled a book and slid behind the opening that appeared.

Severus then hurried downstairs where a house elf was pulling open the door to reveal a group of people huddled in their cloaks, they were members of the Order of the Phoenix, Dumbledore in the lead.

"We know you have Harry, Severus, we have to see him."

"I don't know what you are talking about Potter isn't here Albus, do you really think I would house that insufferable brat?"

"Of course you would Severus, because I know about how much you cared for James, but Harry is not his father, he is only a teenager and we need him back at Hogwarts where he belongs."

"Even if I had taken Potter in, which I haven't what on earth makes you think that I would ever feel that way about him, I am old enough to be his father."

"Like that matters, love does not work that way and you know it Severus."

"So now I love the boy, you are delusional Albus, please leave my property."

"Not until we have searched it, Harry must come back to us tonight."

"I am afraid that I cannot allow you to enter here, this is outrageous."

"It's okay Severus, let him in." Harry said from behind him, everyone turned to face the boy who stood before them adorned in a pink t-shirt and grey boxer shorts. "They know about us Sev, we can't hide it any longer." He said giving Snape a knowing look that begged him to play along.

"I thought you wanted to keep it a secret Harry, _love." _Severus said, the word 'love' rolled off his tongue with concealed distaste, he had never been one for pet names but he did so hate 'Sev'.

"I did honey but Dumbledore here wasn't going to take no for answer, but I have to decline his offer of going back to Hogwarts, we're content here thank you." Harry said as he walked to Severus and linked their hands together.

"Harry, what are you playing at getting involved with him?" Albus asked, Harry just gave him a giddy sort of smile before looking up at Severus adoringly.

"Because I love him Sir" He sighed dramatically, Severus almost laughed at his tone, he actually sounded if he meant it.

"Is this so Severus?"

"Yes Sir and I feel the same, which I think you have known for a long while."

"Yes, well, I never thought that Harry would return the feelings."

"Do you have a problem with us Sir?" Harry asked innocently.

"I do not approve but I do not think that there will be any objections, that is of course if you plan to bond." Dumbledore said his eyes twinkling with mischief.

"Albus that is a personal matter between Harry and myself." Severus replied.

"He hasn't asked me yet Sir." Harry said grinning, he was enjoying putting his professor on the spot like this, he was having far too much fun.

"I suppose I cannot separate the two of you if you are truly serious about this relationship" Dumbledore said through gritted teeth. "I suppose your whereabouts is to remain a secret."

"That would be appreciated; I'm not ready for the world to know yet."

"Very well, I shall let the two of you get back to bed, I am sorry to have disrupted your lives."

"That is quite alright Albus; we understand why you were so concerned."

Just before they closed the door Harry pulled Severus down for a kiss just in case there were any doubts left in any ones mind.

Once Harry and Severus were upstairs and they were sure that the group of Order members were gone Severus rounded on Harry.

"What did you think you were doing?"

"Well it worked did it not?"

"I am not denying that it didn't work but did you even think it through first?"

"Honestly, no I didn't but …"

"You do realise that Albus will expect certain things from the two of us now."

"Of course, but you can't tell me that you didn't enjoy that just a little bit." Harry said cheekily, after four long months of not a whole lot this was a bit much to take in.

So Severus said nothing and Harry remained looking happy, he sauntered forwards and cupped the older mans crotch with his hand, he found that Snape wanted a little more attention than he was letting on.

"Don't" Severus said gruffly stepping backwards from Harry's grasp, Harry looked crest fallen at this and a little embarrassed at his actions.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have" He mumbled, it was barely audible and suddenly his feet were so much more interesting.

"At least we're agreed on that." Severus said, "But that doesn't mean that I don't want to." He added and at once Harry's head snapped upwards to focus on the older man.

"You …"

"Want you?" Harry nodded, "Of course, stupid insufferable brat, look at you, who in their right mind wouldn't?"

"Oh"

"Oh indeed, this is why I say no."

"You loved my father …"

"That I did but as Dumbledore kindly pointed out, you are not your father."

"No, I'm not but that doesn't stop me wanting you."

"I am an old man Harry, you could do so much better than a greasy old potions master, I suggest you go clubbing like other boys your age and find someone, have a good time."

"I don't want to."

"The day you figure out what you do want there will probably be a parade, with trombones and erotic dancers." Severus stated making Harry smile.

"You promise?" Harry said grinning; he had a glint of mischief in his eye that Severus wasn't sure that he liked.

"Promise what?" Severus asked.

"That when I make up my mind there will be erotic dancers," Then after a short pause Harry added, "Or you'll do."

"Harry," Severus said warningly but Harry wasn't paying attention to the older man, instead he was edging forward once more. He suddenly pounced on Severus which knocked them both to the ground; the teen found Severus' lips and claimed them as his own.

Lost in the sensation of Harry's experienced tongue duelling with his own Severus didn't resist, it was pure heaven, all the reasons why they shouldn't be doing this were suddenly non-existent in this one moment of pure bliss.

Harry's hand worked its way under the black silk of Severus' pyjama top and began to caress his left nipple as his other hand worked on undoing the buttons completely while still straddling Severus' hips.

Finally managing to succeed in opening the older man's pyjama shirt Harry began to kiss and suckle his way down Snape's jaw and then down his neck and chest pausing briefly to play with the older mans pink nipples.

His tongue delved into Severus' belly button before the draw string trousers were slowly removed, slid over slender hips to reveal a rather large problem. Harry was astounded at the size of it, he had of course slept with men before, but Seamus, Cedric and Oliver had not been this well endowed.

Without further hesitation Harry took Severus into his mouth, his tongue swirling around the head. Snape was moaning by this stage, his long bony fingers swept through Harry's ebony hair, enjoying the sensation that he was experiencing, that boy sure had a talented tongue.

"Harry …" Severus tried to warn as he neared completion, Harry pulled back and positioned himself so that he was once again straddling the older man, before Snape could say anything Harry was kissing him again. Severus could taste his own pre-cum as he kissed the boy back.

As Harry did this he reached for his wand and muttered a lubricant charm that had come in useful through his last two years at Hogwarts. He coated Severus' erection in the cool substance careful not to tease the man too much.

As he was about to prepare himself, Severus stopped him and began to do it himself, first only a single digit entered him but soon a second one joined that and Harry was moaning with pleasure as the fingers worked.

When they left his entrance Harry made a small noise of protest but the potion masters hands were soon resting on his hips and Harry found something bigger preparing to enter him.

Impatient as ever Harry pushed himself onto Severus' erection gasping as it filled him, it felt so good, then Snape began to buck his hips forward causing Harry to moan louder.

It didn't take either male long before both had climaxed, Harry's seed over Severus' chest, Snape having emptied himself inside of the younger man.

Harry removed himself from Snape's body and lay down beside him, drawing him into a passionate kiss.

"May I request that we move to the bedroom now?" Severus suggested after casting a cleansing charm on himself, Harry just grinned and placed another kiss on Snape's lips.

"If you wanted to go again all you had to do was ask." Harry said cheekily, running his hands down the older mans chest towards his groin.

"Unlike you Harry I am on old man, I doubt I'd be able to 'go again' as you so adequately put it." Came the reply, Harry looked a little disappointed but kept caressing Severus' groin.

There was a low growl that was admitted from Severus' throat as Harry continued with his soft touches. "Insufferable brat" Snape said and Harry actually giggled at that, "Come on, we're going to the bed room, I don't particularly want to tend to carpet burn."

"Your room or mine?" Harry said in his most seductive voice.

"You pick."

"Whatever room is closest."

"Yours it is then."

* * *

This is esspecially for my little sister Millie, I hope you like the story. As for the rest of you don't forget to review. xxxxxxxxx


	2. Chapter 2

Walk away and I stumble

Chapter two

By the time that Christmas rolled around, three days after that eventful night that had found two grown wizards making love in a corridor; the two had a relationship that was something to be proud of.

They seemed to get along with their lives as they had done before, Harry honouring the fact that Severus liked his privacy but the difference now was that Harry would occasionally become bored with whatever activity that he had chosen to pursue that day and bother Severus until given the attention that he wanted.

Since neither had been out of the house other witches and wizards had not been a problem, no sign of their relationship had reached reporters such as Rita Skeeter and therefore there had been no mention in it in the Daily Prophet. Not even Dumbledore nor any other member of the Order had disturbed them again.

The house elves had taken it upon themselves this year to open up the dinning room for the two wizards and prepare them a feast. They had even set up a Christmas tree in the far right hand corner that looked a little lonely with no presents underneath it but was grandly decorated nonetheless.

Harry had mail ordered presents for Ron and Hermione, along with them he had sent a card with the message, '_Thinking of you at Snape Manor, Harry.' _He was positive that at some point, probably very soon they were bound to come hammering on their front door, conveniently Harry hadn't mentioned this to Severus.

Harry descended into the entrance hall alone, Severus was already up and downstairs by this point, he never bothered trying to wake Harry who could sleep for England if he wanted, when he was asleep then nothing, not even a heard of rampaging hippogriffs would wake him. However Severus had amused himself with the thought that if a hundred female Harry Potter fanatics came through the bedroom door he would be awake in an instant and running for his life. Snape however had never tested this theory although he was tempted.

"Hey baby" Harry greeted as he entered the kitchen and began helping himself to the mug of coffee that Severus had just brewed for himself. Severus glared at the boy but said nothing; he did so detest being called 'baby' or any other form of pet name, when used Severus didn't respond. Harry would soon learn, or so he hoped.

"Aw honey, aren't you going to say good morning?" Harry said as he sat himself down in Snape's lap as the older man took a seat at the kitchen table.

"No" Severus said defiantly as he opened the paper and began to read, "Not until you stop with that ridiculous name calling."

"You love it really baby and you know you do." Harry said as he kissed Severus, a long passionate drawn out kiss before removing himself from his lover and taking a sip of his coffee. "Anything interesting happening in the world?"

"Voldemort is back in England it would seem, he was spotted…"

"I don't want to know, it just makes me feel guilty about the fact that I haven't killed him yet, anything else?"

"Nothing of interest, well unless you count the article, well it is more of an interview by your friends Weasley and Granger."

"What does it say?" Harry asked as he began to drink more of the caffeinated goodness that filled the mug, it warmed him as he drank.

"Just that they are worried about you and think that you might be dead."

"Really, well I sent them Christmas cards"

"Potter, you did what?"

"I, sent, them, Christmas, cards." Harry said very slowly making sure that he pronounced each and every syllable just to irritate his lover further.

"And why on earth would you want to do that?"

"Because they are my friends"

"And what exactly did you write in these Christmas cards?"

"Erm" Harry looked a little nervous, "Think of you at … Snape Manor"

"You do realise that by this afternoon every reporter in the country is going to be knocking on the front door wanting to know where the famous Harry Potter is."

"Let them, I don't care, Voldemort's back remember, I'm now officially out of hiding, not that I want to be but that is what is expected of me, I've had my fun vacation and now I have to go and do what I was born to do."

"Let me just summon the house elves, we can avoid them for a while longer."

"And what did you have in mind for us today that we would have to avoid the press for?"

"Well, I was going to finish marking those essays which you have efficiently distracted me from before now and then I was going to work on my potions, you can do what you wish."

"See, I don't like that plan too much, I prefer my plan"

"And what exactly is your plan?"

"Whipped cream, strawberries, chocolate sauce and a pair of handcuffs."

"I'll have to think about it, those essays have to be done"

"Are you seriously going to choose your work over me?"

"Not a chance brat, you go upstairs and wait for me."

Grinning Harry got up from the table and departed up the stairs, Severus summoned the three house elves, Missy, It and Prat (their actual names believe it or not) and dealt out instructions before requesting the food items that Harry had suggested along with some honey and chocolate buttons.

It was mid afternoon when the doorbell started ringing, Harry was in rather a strange predicament, (literally every part of his body was covered in cream, honey and chocolate buttons) and therefore couldn't really leave the room until he was clean, which led to the reason that Severus could not tend to their guests.

The house elves however seemed to be fulfilling their duties and Severus' request at not being bothered by anyone. By dinner time both men were about ready to shower, Harry had brought out a side of Severus that he had not known that had been a part of his personality; he was now officially a sex maniac!

They made their way to the bathroom, the one with the double shower head so that they could both fit in together, they had tried to squeeze into the single shower and that hadn't worked but it had led to a very interesting sex position that they were sure had never before been discovered.

They turned on the water to a pleasurable temperature and got in before they began to kiss; Harry was soon on his knees and taking Severus into his mouth, the older wizard never could get enough of his young lover's talented mouth.

Just as Severus was about to reach his climax Harry pulled away and got to his feet, he ran his hands through Severus' gripping wet hair and stood on tiptoe so that they could share a kiss, their erections rubbing together.

The friction between them becoming too much for Severus to handle he pushed Harry back against the wet tiled wall, the younger wizard obligingly wrapped his legs around the others waist as they continued to kiss.

As Severus entered Harry there was a soft pop behind them as a house elf appeared, she then squealed and disappeared again, the two wizards ignored her arrival and departure. As they both climaxed Harry threw his head back, hitting it against the hard stone wall but the pain was null as all his senses were on overload with the pleasure of his orgasm.

Severus came to his senses first and turned the water off, the bathroom had steamed up nicely, it was if a warm fog had settled there, the mirror was un-useable but neither cared too much. They wrapped thick fluffy towels around their waists while they towel dried their hair as much as possible. Despite the shower the younger wizard still had chocolate in places that he had never thought about before; he could feel the honey that remained in his belly button.

"Next time, I'm eating off you" Harry said, Severus smirked, it wasn't his usual 'I'm so evil' smirk either, it was a smug sort of smirk that drove Harry wild, he was dying to jump the man now.

"It was a rather enjoyable experience, I never knew such food products could be so enjoyable or could get so many places." He said grinning; Severus pulled Harry toward him so that they could share a kiss.

As Harry was about to lose his towel Missy the house elf appeared again looking a little apprehensive about disturbing them again, "Excuse me Sirs, Professor Dumbledore is waiting for you Sirs, he says it is important Sirs."

"I thought I made it perfectly clear that we were not to be disturbed Missy, can you please get rid of him and anyone else that has been hammering down the door."

"Of course Sirs, I am very sorry Sirs."

"Oh and before you go, please clean all the empty containers from the bedroom." Severus requested, the house elf bowed a ridiculously low bow and disappeared from sight with a soft pop. "Now where were we?"

Harry grinned pulling Severus down to kiss him while removing their towels again, they had just made it through to the bedroom and fallen down upon the bed when the door burst open revealing an irritated looking Dumbledore.

Severus almost fell off the bed in shock, as it was he grabbed the blanket and arranged it so it covered them both. Harry was more than a little annoyed at the old mans intrusion on their privacy but settled for glaring at him.

"I need a word" The headmaster said, it may have seemed as if it was a request but it was more of an order, he wasn't happy about being told that he couldn't be seen because they were too busy making out, he was a very busy man after all.

"Clearly" Harry said as Severus searched for underwear, any underwear, just something to cover himself and possibly some for Harry was well.

"What is it headmaster?" Severus asked being slightly more polite than his lover who remained glaring at the elderly wizard in an exasperated fashion.

"It is concerning the circus camped out on your lawn, waiting for a story on the _happy _couple." Dumbledore said, he said the word happy as if he didn't quite believe it.

"We are happy Sir, despite how much you don't want to believe it, now if you'll kindly excuse us, I have a problem that only Severus can deal with."

"Can I not help you with it a little later, Albus clearly needs to speak with us."

"Normally I'd say that it could wait but it's kind of urgent." Harry said giving the potions master a meaningful look that clearly said that he was in desperate need of attention, Severus would almost think that he had been ignored for the past three days.

"Can you not deal with it yourself just this once?"

"It won't be as fun without you though baby."

"For that _love, _you can deal with it yourself and then meet us downstairs in the dinning room; I think the house elves have prepared something of a Christmas feast, Albus, would you care to join us?"

Harry looked less than please about this but was thrilled upon seeing the boxer shorts that Severus had had to put on in order to keep his dignity in tact. They were his, bright red and covered in golden snitches, they had been given to him as a gift by Seamus during their brief stint as boyfriends. He couldn't help but laugh at the sight of his fully grown lover in such ridiculous garments, even the headmaster cracked a smile.

Harry took his time getting dressed; he couldn't be bothered with anything that the headmaster had to say about their relationship, there was no point in his life where Harry could claim that he had been happier, Severus was everything that he wanted, nothing more and certainly NOTHING less!

By the time he arrived in the dinning room diner was about to be served, full of cream, chocolate and strawberries he wasn't sure he could manage a Christmas feast on top of that but somehow he did. Between the three of them they demolished a good two thirds of the food provided; Harry even managed to persuade Severus to wear a hat that had Mickey Mouse ears attached to it.

Dumbledore had to admit that they looked happy together; in fact he would go as far to say that Harry was doing Severus the world of good, never before had the potions master smiled a genuine smile and joined in the fun and laughter of any festive occasion, it was a completely new side of him. A side that was probably beneficial to everyone especially his students who wouldn't know what to think.

"So we are agreed on the fact that you will give an interview with the Daily Prophet on your relationship." Dumbledore said as he wiped his mouth with his napkin, well he more dapped at his mouth.

"As long as Rita Skeeter isn't the one conducting the interview that is fine," Harry countered knowing full well what the vile woman would turn their relationship into something else entirely.

"I am sure that can be arranged" Dumbledore said, "As of right now I have to be off, thank you for the wonderful diner, I am sorry to have disturbed your evening together, feel free to come and stay with Severus while he is teaching at Hogwarts Harry, it would be a relief to have you back there."

"I assume you know that Voldemort is back Dumbledore, can I enquire as to your plans?" Harry asked, he really wanted to know if he had to do something about it, he didn't exactly want to but it was his birth right, people expected it.

"Maybe you should attend the next Order meeting with Severus and you will find out." Dumbledore said pleasantly but it implied that he thought very little of Harry for fleeing the way in the way that he did.

"Maybe I will" Harry returned defiantly as he showed the headmaster to the entrance hall and they said their goodbyes.

* * *

Glad everyone is enjoying the story, I'm glad my sister is as well, anyone for more slashy goodness in the next chapter say YAY in a review, if you don't then there won't be any. REVIEW!


	3. Chapter 3

Walk away and I stumble

Chapter three

With the Daily Prophet interview out of the way and the next Order meeting looming ahead of them in just a few short weeks it was making the couple nervous and with Harry feeling a bit peaky lately they were debating whether or not they should go.

It had been an entire month since they had become a couple now but everything was going perfectly for them both, not a single argument had been battled which was surprising considering how stubborn both men were. Sex had been a constant companion for them also, something both had greatly enjoyed.

They had discovered positions that they had never thought possible, all manor of food products had been used and there had even been a humorous situation with handcuffs and a pair of leather pants, an encounter that Severus had immensely enjoyed.

The sex had slightly slowed down as Severus was highly concerned for his boyfriend, Harry had been throwing up recently and this was showing no signs of letting up and the stubborn Gryffindor was refusing to go and see Madame Pomfrey.

Harry had however moved into Hogwarts when Severus had gone back, he had always thought Snape Manor very big for the one person and he had always been very lonely and had looked forward to Severus returning.

Harry had made a few changes to Snape's living quarters making them brighter and cheerier, he had also added a bit of his personality into the room also, Severus had not been overly pleased but said nothing preferring to grit his teeth and have wonderful sex than have Harry sleeping on the sofa and not talking to him.

Harry had now taken to carrying crackers around with him to keep his stomach settled sometimes pretzel's instead either away he needed them. It was now three on Thursday afternoon and Severus had an hour of class left to teach.

It was a group of first years who were all terrified of their professor and they were brewing some complicated potion or other. It was at this moment that Harry decided to pay his boyfriend a quick visit and therefore ruin his evil potion master façade that he had built up over the past few years of teach at Hogwarts.

He strolled in and immediately curled his arms around the potion masters neck and pressed his lips to the older mans. Without thinking clearly Severus responded to the kiss before coming to his senses and pushing Harry away, the younger wizard at once looked offended.

"Harry what are you playing at, I'm teaching."

"I missed you, I just wanted a kiss."

"We will talk about this later Harry, I'm in the middle of class, you should know better than to interrupt me." Severus said sternly causing Harry to pout.

"Please baby, let's just go back to our rooms and have crazy naked sex!"

The entire class that had been deadly silent up until this point burst out laughing, Severus actually blushed, his cheeks burning bright scarlet at Harry's words.

"50 points from both Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, I want a 3ft essay on this potion due next class, you are dismissed." Severus shouted and at once the small first years scurried out of the class room away from the angry potions master.

Severus then turned his gaze to Harry, who smiled at him sweetly, "What did you think you were going to achieve by doing that?" He asked, his voice dangerously low, however Harry didn't seem phased by this at all.

"Crazy naked sex" He replied truthfully, "I had this really vivid image of being bent over your desk, even thinking about it gave me a problem so I thought about it logically, of course you'd never agree to dismissing class early unless you had no other choice so I thought that being honest in front of an entire class of first years would do the trick nicely."

"You are smarter than I give you credit for Potter." Snape said with a sigh.

"So can we?"

"So can we, what?"

"You bend me over your desk and have crazy naked sex."

Severus looked longingly over at his desk and sighed again, he really shouldn't but it was so damn tempting, there was one side of him that was rooting for the sex option and that was definitely the louder of the two voices, the other was say, 'nah, make him wait, make him suffer like you no doubt will for his little stunt'.

Harry looked at his lover expectantly and almost jumped for joy when Severus replied: "Fine, you win, go and lock the door first though."

Harry did as he was told and as soon as the task was done he pounced on Severus, lips met and all hell broke lose, well I say hell but really it was just hormones but still, you get the picture.

Fingers fumbled with zips buttons and clasps, both eager to get the other undressed as quickly as physically possible. Severus found the 'problem' Harry had mentioned earlier had had to agree with his young lover, it was certainly a problem.

With a sweep of his hand Harry sent the contents on top of the desk to the floor with a crash that neither wizard heard. Harry turned around so that his back was to Severus but then resumed the kissing.

Severus positioned himself so that he was about to enter the Gryffindor but before he did he whispered softly: "Bend over" His voice sent soft shivers down Harry's spine but he did as he was told to do.

Snape placed his hands on Harry's hips and thrust into him causing both to moan with pleasure, the students that were passing were unaware due to the silencing charms but if they could have heard the commotion they would have sworn later that it wasn't just the potion master and Harry Potter but an entire group of people having an orgy.

Just as well Harry had remembered the silencing charms.

Severus thrust faster and deeper each time until both men reached their climax and cried out one last time before collapsing breathless to the floor, Harry wore a very happy expression on his face as he curled up next to Severus.

"Now _that _we have to try again," He said as he played with Snape's long hair, twirling it between his fingers.

"Perhaps, but not while I have class, never again when I have class."

"I'm sorry baby, did I mess up your reputation?" Severus snorted, Harry had of course done more than that and he knew it. "Well, now at least you can have a different reputation."

"And what would that be Brat?"

"You can be Severus Snape, sneering potions master and God of Sex!"

"Oh really, well I don't see a problem with that if it's you saying that but I don't fancy the entire school seeing me that way."

They were silent for a few moments before Severus spoke again, "Is your stomach any better?" Harry groaned, this was a question that he never failed to ask and it was getting on his nerves a little bit.

"Not really, but I'm cool, I'll ride it out, I'm sure it's nothing serious."

"You can't be sure of that Harry, please go and see Poppy."

"You know this is one the thing I didn't expect to discuss while sitting naked in your classroom, in fact I didn't think I'd be discussing anything with you while naked."

"Nice try but don't change the subject, if you don't go and see Poppy then I am going to start withholding sex."

Harry gasped, "You wouldn't."

"Oh I would."

"Fine" Harry huffed, "The God of sex has spoken, I'll go and see Poppy."

"And since I know you far too well brat I will be checking with her tomorrow to see if you have actually been to see her."

"I'm offended that you don't trust me" Severus raised an amused eyebrow at this, "Okay, you have a fair point, fine, I'll actually go."

"Good, now I think we should dress and go back to our rooms before dinner commences." Severus said attempting to stand up but Harry wasn't having any of it.

"Who said you were going anywhere Professor?"

"Maybe we could role play later but I'm hungry right now, but you had better find your old school robes for tonight."

"Oh I will, have no fear."

Later that day at dinner while Harry sat eating crackers avoiding every other food available which just so happened to be roast beef and all the trimmings Severus was engaged in conversation by the headmaster.

"I ran across some of your students Severus, they were out of class a full hour before they were due to be, I assume that you allowed them to leave and I have no problem with this but I was wondering if you had hit your head as it is most unlike you to do such a thing."

"Yes, well, I had some problems to deal with."

"From that can I assume that Harry turned up and that the rumours now circulating are in fact true?"

"That all depends Headmaster, what are the rumours?"

"That you and Harry began to make out in front of the first years who now claim that you were, and I quote, 'going to have crazy naked sex' and that you are in face 'a god in the bedroom' and believe me this is from there mouths not my own."

"There is a small ounce of truth in those words, I received a quick kiss from Harry when he interrupted my lesson and he did mention 'crazy naked sex' however nothing else is true."

Minerva, who was sat between the headmaster and Severus was having a hard time eating as she was too busy laughing, this was not the dinner conversation that she had expected to be involved in.

"Well, may I ask that you reframe from any sort of sexual activity in the classroom from this point forward as it has clearly disturbed the first years that were present to experience this."

"I have already spoken to Harry, that will not happen again, I am sorry I allowed it to continue the first time."

"Headmaster, may I ask a question?" Harry asked, Dumbledore made a hand motion for Harry to continue. "If we can't use Severus' desk any more can you supply me with a desk in our chambers?"

Dumbledore almost chocked on his mouthful of Yorkshire pudding and gravy, Minerva who had been sipping at her pumpkin juice promptly spat it all out again at these words, Harry fought back a grin while Severus just grimaced.

Some of the students were giving the Professor's strange looks but soon went back to eating, a few of the students sitting closer to the teachers table were listening to the conversation intently now, trying to gather all the details.

"I will erm, see what I can do." Dumbledore managed to get out as Harry lost the fight to conceal his grin, he did however receive a sharp nudge from Severus as he attempted to get it under control.

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Sorry this took so long, I've been kinda busy with coursework. Please review xxxxxxx 


	4. Chapter 4

Walk away and I stumble

Chapter four

Harry as promised had gone to see Poppy he was more than impressed by the many stares and whispers that now followed him through the corridors. Somehow it had got out about the desk incident and students would refuse to sit near Snape's desk for an entirely different reason than they were scared of their Professor.

Harry was wondering if it would make it to the front page of the Daily Prophet, the rest of his personal life seemed to do so, he didn't see any reason why this would be any different.

He entered the infirmary to find that there had been some sort of transfiguration accident and Poppy was treating a boy with a clock for a face, a girl with clocks for eyes and another girl who was ringing.

Harry took a seat on his usual bed that had been given to him in fifth year after all the accidents that he had got himself into had totalled up to a higher number than anyone could believe. Above the headboard was a plaque which read _the bed of Harry Potter, boy-who-lived! _Harry had also been led to believe that there was also one above his bed in Gryffindor tower but he had never ventured up there to see if it was actually true.

After Poppy had sent away the three students that she had finally just turned back to normal she approached Harry with a slight smile. "I can deduct from your smile that you are here on Severus' orders."

"Got it in one, he's worried bless him, he threatened to withhold sex if I didn't come and see you so here I am and you had better tell him that I came."

"Fear not, you will be having crazy monkey sex tonight, I won't stand in your way of that." She said grinning herself now.

"It was actually crazy naked sex but we could make it crazy naked monkey sex, which would certainly be interesting." Harry said and he looked like he was actually considering this.

"So would this be with or without the desk?"

"Well without for the moment as Dumbledore hasn't been kind enough to arrange on for our chambers yet, but usually there is a desk and sometimes chocolate sauce not to mention the…"

"I think that's enough Potter, now what seems to be the matter, your certainly not under sexed!" She said and Harry's grin broadened.

"Nah, that's not the problem, believe me nothing lacking there and I mean _nothing._"

"Then why are you here?"

"Because I've got a little stomach bug and Severus is being all paranoid." Harry said as he brought out a lollipop from his pocket, unwrapped it and began to suck on it.

"What are your symptoms?"

"Just vomiting, though it comes and it goes, normally it's in the mornings."

"Right, is that it?"

"Yeah, so what's up with me?"

"Lie back and let me do a few spells, then I'll tell you."

Harry did as he was told and allowed the medi-witch to work her magic, Harry just lay there contently sucking on his lollipop thinking about different positions for the coming nights activities.

When Poppy had finished she put down her wand, she appeared to be smiling as Harry sat up, it actually made Harry a little worried so he braced himself.

"From your happy expression I can tell I'm not dying or anything drastic, so what's up with me?" Harry asked, Poppy was still smiling gleefully and Harry couldn't understand why, he was supposed to be ill and here she was smiling at him.

"Well Mr Potter I can safely say that it is nothing life threatening, it may be slightly rare but it should pass in a few weeks, I have come to believe that you are indeed four weeks pregnant."

"Excuse me, I'm pregnant, can men even get pregnant?"

"No, _men _cannot but wizards on the other hand can, you see if you have unprotected sex at the right moment, while you are in heat I suppose you would say the magic creates a temporary womb inside of you where the baby can grow."

"So I'm pregnant?"

"Yes, if you would like I can give you a scan, you should be able to hear the baby's heart beat. Would you like that?"

"Yeah, why not, I still can't believe it, maybe this will help it sink in."

Poppy conjured up a magical screen and then pointed her wand at Harry's stomach after he had rolled up his t-shirt. On the screen was his baby, he could hear the heat beat and poppy pointed out the little buds that had stemmed from the body that would become arms and legs.

"I assume that the other father is Severus." Poppy said conversationally, Harry nodded, he was certain of that much, he hadn't slept with anyone but Severus for the past year. "Congratulations, I do assume that you will be telling him."

"Oh I'll tell him" Harry said with a silly grin on his face, "_After, _crazy naked monkey sex!" Poppy gave him a look, "What," Harry asked innocently, "He won't agree to crazy naked monkey sex if I'm pregnant, I'm going to tell him eventually, can I trust that you won't say anything?"

"Of course not, patient-medi-witch confidentiality, I won't say anything without your permission first, no one will find out from me."

"Great, thanks and that does include the headmaster right," Poppy nodded, "Good, if he finds out I might never get that desk." Poppy snorted at this, "Thanks, see you soon I guess, will you want me back anytime soon?"

"I would say once a fortnight would be best so I can monitor the baby's progress, avoid caffeine, alcohol, potions unless I have specifically given them to you myself and anything intoxicating, certain gases are also included."

"Got it" Harry said as he hoped off the bed and headed for the exit satisfied that his secret was safe, he practically skipped down to the dungeons where he knew Severus was teaching, however lunch was in twenty minutes, he could wait until then.

He had been expressly forbidden from interrupting the teaching process again by both Severus and Albus; it was as he was happily skipping along when he ran into the headmaster who was aimlessly walking around sucking a lemon drop.

"Good afternoon" Harry said cheerily, Dumbledore returned the greeting, "I was meaning to ask you, did you order that desk for me?"

"Yes, it should arrive by special owl delivery next week."

"Wicked, thanks Professor."

"There was actually something I had to ask you Harry, seeing as our new Defence Against the Dark Art's is retiring at the end of the year and I was wondering if you'd consider taking over the position seeing as you'll be wanting to stay at Hogwarts with Severus."

"Let me think, it's how many months until September" Harry thought for a minute "Seven so umm, I'm not sure, I'll think about it." He replied, Dumbledore gave Harry a very strange look which Harry smiled at in response.

Half an hour later and Harry and Severus were lying in bed, well I say lying but really they were making out, well on the way to full out crazy naked monkey sex. Lunch had been completely forgotten by this point.

Clothes were hastily stripped and Severus flipped Harry over so he was on top and then began to kiss his way down Harry's nicely tanned hairless chest that he loved so much, his lips ghosted over his stomach which made Harry tingle.

Boxers were slid of slender hips and then discarded onto the floor, forgotten. Severus took Harry's large erection in his mouth, swallowing it whole causing Harry to buck his hips while making delicious sounds with his mouth.

Severus was about to come purely from the sounds that Harry was making, it was a damn shame that they were interrupted up someone knocking on the door to their chambers.

"Ignore it" Harry said as Severus' mouth left Harry's erection and soon found his lips.

"I plan to, don't you worry." Severus responded as he continued to kiss the younger wizard while settling himself between Harry's legs.

"SEVERUS!" Dumbledore's voice shouted, "HARRY!" It called again but both wizards ignored it, after a few minutes Severus had entered Harry and there had been no more interruptions. It was only when they were both reaching their climax that the door to their bedroom burst open and the headmaster appeared.

The two wizards in bed moaned as their orgasms blocked everything else out and filled them with immense satisfaction, Dumbledore left the room, too disturbed to stay where he was but he left the door open and sat on the black leather sofa, then thought better of it and stood.

There was no doubt in his mind what that couch had been used for previously, he looked at the old arm chair in the corner and thought that that was a safe bet and sat down, little did he know that that had also should have been cleansed before ANYONE sat in it again, but he wasn't to know that so he remained sitting in it blissfully unaware of it's previous uses.

The two wizards soon reappeared, Severus in his usual immaculate state but Harry on the other hand was in nothing but jeans. Dumbledore tried his level best not to stare at the love bite that adorned his left breast. He had to admit that all the 'Harry Potter fanatics' had a good reason for loving him.

"I thought that I made it perfectly clear that I was not to be ignore in favour of sexual intercourse!" Dumbledore said irritably.

"Sorry but Severus was actually IN the middle of something." Harry said pointedly as he flopped down on the sofa, his head resting in Severus' lap. "How's the desk coming along?"

"The same as when you asked me an hour ago, now the reason I am here is that I thought that the seventh year potion class should have the chance to go into the forbidden forest to gather their own potion ingredients, what do you think?"

"No way!" Severus said, "Not a chance."

"He'll do it."

"Yeah, when Satin starts a snowball fight maybe," Severus proclaimed, "It's not going to happen."

"Well actually Harry I was thinking that you could help supervise, I will of course pay you if you would like."

"You want me to help, cool, and no need to pay me, I've got enough money, this'll be fun!" Harry said grinning happily, at that moment his stomach growled hungrily.

"Severus I believe that you have class to teach so I will leave you two to your business, have you thought any more on my offer Harry?"

"Not as of yet, I need to discuss it with Severus first but I'll let you know."

Dumbledore gave a curt nod and left, Severus looked down at Harry questioningly, "What offer did Albus give you?" He asked inquiringly.

"He wants me to take up the DADA post next year, I said I'd think about it and by the way I went to see Poppy, routine stomach bug as I thought so no worrying okay."

"Want a potion for that?"

"Nah, I can cope, a few trips to the porcelain goddess won't do me no harm."

"Okay, if your sure, I will see you tonight."

"Okay baby"

Severus gave Harry a final kiss and left, the Gryffindor rubbed his stomach smiling, if only Sev knew! Deciding that since he was eating for two now he had better get some lunch, Harry grabbed his t-shirt and headed down to the kitchens where the house elves were more than happy to feed him.

* * *

Wow, when I wrote that line I never actually meant it to be funny, lol, I'm glad your enjoying the story, if you have any suggestions on more words to add to 'crazy naked monkey sex' please let me know, thanks to Founderschild1 who added Monkey to it. Don't forget to leave a review, I'm so glad your all enjoying the story. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 


	5. Chapter 5

Walk away and I stumble

Chapter five

Harry was now six weeks into his pregnancy and as it was his first he wasn't actually showing, he had asked Madame Pomfrey about this and she had explained to him that his stomach muscles were tight and he wouldn't show for a little while but time was running out.

He still hadn't told Severus.

On the plus side the desk had arrived, only yesterday he and Severus had got into an interesting situation with a pair of handcuffs and the desk, something he was sure that he couldn't repeat again even if he had wanted to do so.

By next week however Harry was sure that he would start to show, his stomach may not have been showing but his stomach muscles were not as defined as they usually were, he was fortunate that Severus hadn't noticed as of yet.

Harry however had a plan, since he was still pretty much sex mad he was going to seduce the older wizard into bed as per-usual and then tell him while they sat sated in the aftermath.

It was a pretty good plan if Harry did say so himself, he wasn't sure how Severus was going to react to this, he was getting on in years, Harry didn't mind this so much but having children at his age wasn't exactly the norm.

It was while Severus was teaching that Harry was lounging in the bath caressing his belly thinking of the life growing inside of him. He did not of yet know the gender of his baby but he wasn't sure that he wanted to until the birth.

He closed his eyes and let his mind wander, usually when he did this he thought of crazy, passionate naked monkey sex but now he tried to imagine what his boyfriend's reaction would be. At first he imagined Severus getting mad and chucking him out and then him breaking down into tears and proposing marriage.

He hoped it wasn't either of those, he didn't want Severus to propose just because of the baby, in fact he didn't want him to propose at all, Harry didn't think that he was ready for quite a big step, certainly not the high level of commitment.

Although when he thought about it the baby in itself was a pretty big step for them both but he knew that he wanted to keep it, there was no doubt about that. The pregnancy may have been a bit of a shock but he did want it.

In about an hour Harry had his fortnightly appointment with Poppy who was eager to see him and do an ultrasound to see how the baby was developing; Harry was equally as excited about this.

He even had a date with Severus in the forbidden forest after lunch for sensual, sweaty, sweet, salacious, scornful, slutty snaky sex after which they were going to head back to their room ad put the desk to good use again in what Harry called large, luscious, lip-smacking, lovely lion sex.

These were two totally different styles to just the normal crazy naked monkey sex but each was just as enjoyable as the other. It was certainly better than remarkable, unreal, ripe, ravenous, randy Ravenclaw sex. But at least that was better than high-quality, heinous, heroic Hufflepuff sex.

An hour later found Harry skipping up to the infirmary, the little trips he had managed to conceal from Severus he didn't know how. The infirmary fortunately was empty when he arrived and thankfully Poppy was able to see him right away.

The blank screen appeared before a cool potion was poured over his stomach, Poppy's wand then touched his stomach and the screen came to life.

"Oh" Harry said in awe as he saw his baby that was growing inside of him, he could make out the head and the little arms and legs that had begun to form from the buds that they had been since the last time Harry had seen the baby. "Wow" He concluded, Poppy couldn't help but smile at him as she continued to show the proud mother his child.

"Your child is developing perfectly and right on schedule it would seem, it has a fluttering heartbeat and is perfectly healthy for a child at this stage." She said happily removing her wand from Harry's stomach and vanishing the gel like potion from his stomach. "Although I must warn you Harry that magical baby's especially children from two wizarding parents are prone to performing magic from the womb."

"Is that good or bad?"

"It can be both, the more magic that the baby uses the more tired you will become, also you may have to explain to Severus odd occurrences since you haven't told him as of yet but on the plus side the baby will use magic to protect itself and it's mother from anything that will cause either of you harm."

"Harm as in?"

"I once had a case when the baby would go so far as to protect itself from anything too hot or even too cold from touching the stomach of the mother, pretty much anything that doesn't say 'I love you' to your stomach."

"Well" Harry said chuckling, "I'll have to be careful then, I was actually thinking about telling Severus after the Order meeting tonight, or maybe after our for sensual, sweaty, sweet, salacious, scornful, slutty snaky sex in the forbidden forest."

"Now that Harry was a little too much information than I needed to hear."

"Sorry, want to hear what we're going to do when we get back?"

"Not really but you have intrigued me so do continue to tell me."

"Large, luscious, lip-smacking, lovely lion sex."

"I once did that myself, I did prefer remarkable, unreal, ripe, ravenous, randy Ravenclaw sex personally, that was my house you know."

"I never knew that, I tried that once myself once as well, didn't find it to my liking."

After this very strange conversation that neither would ever admit to having (well maybe Harry would) Harry was on his way, it was just about lunch time so he skipped all the way down to Severus' dungeon classroom and patiently waited outside.

He was rewarded a minute or so later by the bell ringing and the fourth year class filing out, when they spotted him standing there whispers broke out, ignoring them the Gryffindor slipped past them and into the classroom closing the door behind him.

"Hey there lover" Harry said approaching Severus' desk where the older man sat skim reading over some essays that Harry presumed had just been handed in.

"You know, these seem to become worse each year, it's astounding really."

Not satisfied with this greeting Harry sat himself down in Severus lap and began to nibble at his lovers earlobe, which did exactly what the Gryffindor wanted it to, distracting the potions professor from his work and making him slightly turned on.

"You know I think my greeting was a little better than yours, could you at least pretend to be happy to see me?" Harry said pouting.

"I'm sorry," Severus said returning the kiss that Harry had given him, "Forgive me?"

"Always, but you now owe me sex in the forbidden forest while everyone is at lunch and then more sex in our rooms this afternoon as you don't have class to teach."

"I did promise didn't I?"

"Yep, so are you ready?"

Severus nodded and together they headed up and out and fortunately didn't meet anyone along the way, anyone like the headmaster who would no doubt dislike the idea of Harry and Severus having for sensual, sweaty, sweet, salacious, scornful, slutty snaky sex in the forbidden forest.

Severus was leading the way; apparently he knew the perfect place for snaky sex in the forbidden forest, it made Harry wonder whether or not he had done this before. When Harry voice this thought it made Severus laugh, the younger wizard had always loved the potion professors laugh.

"Actually I have done this once before" But then seeing Harry's hurt look at this not being the first adventurous outdoor sex he had had Snape continued. "It was before you were born, I had just figured out that I preferred to sleep with men. I couldn't exactly sleep with men in the Slytherin dormitory, so Lucius who was a year younger than myself agreed to come out here, he was experimenting and from that day he was bisexual."

"Well, you're enough to turn any man gay." Harry said as they followed a small dirt path through the undergrowth.

Where they ended up surprised Harry, he had never seen anything like this in the forest before now. There was a small clearing in which a large oak with a thick tree trunk stood, from one of the sturdier branches hung a double swing and up on one of the higher branches was what looked like a roomy tree house.

"You found this?"

"Oh yes, I used to come here often in my school days but since I began teaching I had little reason to visit here." This was not the sort of place that Harry had expected Severus Snape, feared potion master of Hogwarts and God of sex to know about.

"It's beautiful but it is missing one thing,"

"And what would that be?"

"I'll show you" Harry withdrew his wand and muttered a spell in parceltongue at which point the ground seemed to rupture and form a small pile of rock, then with a second muttered spell, this time in some sort of old Celtic language a small fountain started to trickle from the rock and a pond appeared at the base.

"Since when have you been able to conjure the elements Harry?" Severus asked an intrigued eyebrow raised.

"I've been studying" Harry responded vaguely.

Soon it didn't really matter about Harry's surprising new talents as they were up in the tree house, very much naked as the day they were born pleasuring each other.

Erections rubbing against each other, moans of pure ecstasy the only sound that managed to escape their lips as both Harry and Severus gave each other the best sex that they had ever had.

As they lay sated and happy in conjured sheets of satin and velvet, Severus running long, slim fingers over Harry's chest and stomach that he noticed the usually defined chest muscles that his young lover had possessed were now nowhere in sight.

"I think you've been studying a little much" Severus said, Harry's mess of ebony hair tickling his neck and chin.

"What do you mean?"

"I know I'm not in the best physical condition but you always seemed to keep on top of your exercise, especially quidditch."

"It's my stomach bug, I haven't had time but don't worry I'll start again soon, I don't like feeling fat." Harry lied smoothly, he didn't enjoy lying to Severus but he wasn't about to tell him here no matter how perfect it was.

"You are by no means fat." Severus replied as he kissed Harry's forehead.

Thinking fast Harry changed the subject, "So come on up and clothes"

"Why on earth would I want to do that?"

"Because we're not done and it's getting a little too cold to stay here sensual, sweaty, sweet, salacious, scornful, slutty snaky sex may be done outside but Large, luscious, lip-smacking, lovely lion sex is best done inside with a desk and handcuffs."

"True maybe we could think of another type of sex that we could do outdoors before we go in." Severus suggested.

"Okay how about…"

"I was more thinking sex first, name later."

Harry laughed but that sweet sound was soon cut out by Severus as he claimed Harry's lips with a kiss while his talented fingers caressed Harry into erection.

By the time they managed to return to the castle it was near dinner time and within hours the Order meeting would commence, a few of the members had gathered for dinner already. Tonks meet them in the entrance hall, one look over their ruffled appearance and miss buttoned clothing told her exactly what they had been doing.

She had to bite back a laugh when she saw Severus in this state, he was usually so perfect, even his skin did not go unblemished as Harry had given him a love bite that had gone an interesting shade of maroon right on his neck for everyone to see. She could safely say that he had not of yet seen it otherwise he would have concealed it with magic by now.

"Evening Harry, Severus, how are you this fine evening?" She asked suppressing her grin, Harry noticed and smiled, taking the potion professor's hand within his own.

"We're great thank you, it's been a while Tonks how are you?" Harry asked politely even though Severus was showing signs of wanting to get down to the dungeons where the desk awaited there arrival.

"Not bad, Remus sends his love"

"Will he not be coming tonight?"

"Full moon, he was so disappointed when he realised, but he promised to come and see you tomorrow if he could."

"That would be great, wouldn't it Sevvy"

Tonks bit back her giggling fit, "Yes" Snape said teeth gritted and tone low, "wonderful."

"Oh lighten up Sev, he's my godfather, you'll have fun I promise."

Severus shook his head in disbelief, as Tonks was about to speak again however he spoke again, "Harry and I have to go and prepare for the meeting tonight, we will resume this conversation then."

"He actually means that he wants to have large, luscious, lip-smacking, lovely lion sex with me so we'll talk later okay."

Tonks nodded, she was in fact speechless, Severus allowed Harry to wave goodbye before dragging him down into the dungeons. "Must you tell everyone?"

"It's so funny though, did you see the look on her face?"

"Yes, very amusing."

Two hours later and the Order members were all gathered in the great hall; Harry was sat in Severus' lap, arms around his waist possessively. They were receiving some very strange looks but the happy couple were just ignoring them all.

The headmaster then appeared, there was an undecipherable look upon his face but it didn't worry Harry who was far too content to just sit where he was, in the warm embrace of his lover.

"Voldemort is back" Albus began startling the witches and wizards surrounding him into silence, Harry winched. "However we also have our saviour back," Severus was about to comment when he saw that Harry was looking sadly at him, he knew that he couldn't say anything about Harry going, he didn't want to let Harry go but it wasn't exactly his choice.

"We have discovered his whereabouts only recently but it is fair to say that his target is the same" Dumbledore didn't have to explain what this target it was, that much was obvious.

Harry however had suddenly realised something and he was not afraid to voice these thoughts, in fact, he decided that he would. Dumbledore was prattling on about how Harry would go into battle and save the day, what the headmaster wasn't expecting wasn't for Harry to interrupt him.

"Sorry headmaster but you seemed to making a lot of plans that involve me and I haven't even agreed to re-join the war, I left for a reason Sir."

"Oh Harry, don't be silly, you have to fight, there is nothing you can do to change that, you've known that since the age of eleven."

"I think you should let Harry make his own choices Dumbledore, if he doesn't want to fight then he shouldn't have to fight." Severus said finally speaking up, he didn't want Harry to fight, he was too scared that he would lose him.

"Severus this does not involve you."

"It does involve him because he is my partner and besides he's just voicing my opinion Professor, besides I am in no condition to fight right now."

"Why, what's wrong, are you ill?" Dumbledore asked, even Severus was looking concerned now, Harry just smiled at his lover and placed a soft kiss upon his lips before standing to address the room.

"I have known for a couple of weeks now but I couldn't really think of the best way to tell everyone but since your all here I may as well do it here." Harry said, every eye in the great hall was upon him, waiting for an explanation. "I'm pregnant."

At these words Severus promptly fainted and Dumbledore started to have major chest pains.

* * *

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I thought it was about time that Harry told Sevvy lol, thanks KC for supplying the marvelous ideas for the silly sex descriptions, they were great fun to write. Got any more? Don't forget to leave a review, the ten of you that did THANK YOU. I can't believe you all like this story so much. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


	6. Chapter 6

Walk away and I stumble

Chapter six

Silence.

Deadly silence.

Everyone's eyes were upon Harry, shock and disbelief shown on each and every single person's face; they looked now to Severus who was passed out on the floor where he had fallen from his chair.

"Tell him … I don't know, think of something cool, tell him I said it." Harry said meaning Severus, he hadn't expect the older wizard to jump for joy at the news but pass out, that was a little extreme.

No one tried to stop him as Harry fled the great hall, a plan already forming in his mind, he was going to get a place of his own, even if Severus did except him and his child he didn't want to be completely dependant on the older man, he wasn't showing yet so therefore no questions were going to be raised.

His first stop was too the dungeons to pick up a few of his belongings, which he shoved hastily into a bag before pulling on a light but warm jacket and heading once more into the great hall where Minerva was aiding Dumbledore as he struggled up the stairs.

The news of Harry being pregnant had been too much for his already frail and elderly heart, Severus was being levitated up the steps by Professor Flitwick, everyone else was either still remaining in the great hall or had moved to the entrance hall so that they could watch these two be taken to the infirmary.

It was Tonks that suddenly came to her senses and grabbed Harry's arm, preventing him from leaving, Harry didn't pull out his wand although he was tempted instead he just gave her a sad stare that told her all she needed to know.

"I have to do this Tonks, please understand, Severus only wanted me not this." Harry said placing a hand upon his stomach, however she didn't loosen her grip upon his arm and he was beginning to get irritated.

"I can't let you go, there is a spy among us and they may leak your condition to he-who-must-not-be-named, we cannot risk it, if you leave you would be committing suicide, I know Severus wouldn't want that and neither would Remus, you can't leave the castle."

"I can and I'm going to, I'm going back into hiding, no one will ever find me unless I want to be found by them, you know that as much as anyone, especially seeing as you were the one in charge of finding me and returning me here safely."

"You knew about that and didn't think to make my life that little bit easier and less stressful?" She asked with a little bit of shock present in her voice.

Harry gave her a faint smile, "Your loyalty is to Dumbledore, it was my wish to stay hidden, you would not have kept my secret, Severus on the other hand didn't care either way and now it is once again my wish to be hidden, please respect that and let go of me."

"I can't do that Harry, your too important to this war, to our future, you will stay and fight, baby or not."

Enough was enough in Harry's mind, she had stepped over the line with that remark and now he was just pissed off with her. He withdrew his wand and pointed it at her heart, startled she released him.

"I will not put Voldemort before my child Tonks, I have my priorities, I'm sick of being your damn weapon, your saviour, I am a person who wants a life away from all this."

Astounded and appalled by Harry's behaviour she backed away, not wishing to anger him further, Harry spotted Ron and Hermione, who had also been present at the Order meeting standing well back and looking at him as if he were a stranger rather than a best friend.

Never before had Harry felt so alone, not even those long, hot summers where he had had nothing to look forward too, only going back to school was nothing compared to this, so much for them being Godparents/

However a horrid thought struck his mind, _he didn't need them, he didn't need anything to live his life, he was after all perfectly capable of looking after himself, screw them _he thought. Harry didn't bother correcting his thoughts as he knew they were based in truth.

Without further ado Harry spun around and tried to walk out of the entrance hall however he was struck by a terrible spell of dizziness and had to grab hold of the door frame to keep from falling over. However after a few moments that alone was not enough and the pregnant young wizard fainted.

Poppy upon seeing Dumbledore and Severus enter the infirmary knew at once what had happened, however when Tonks came in carrying an unconscious Harry she became worried. Abandoning her other patients she rushed to his side and at once did a load of spells to see what was wrong with him and whether the baby was okay.

However once she had done this she was at a loss of what to do, she couldn't give him any of the potions that she normally would have given him as they could potentially harm the baby.

Deciding that the best course of action would be to make him as comfortable as possible as there seemed to be nothing physically wrong with him. She handed Dumbledore a potion which he drank before lying him down. Then she moved onto Severus and cast an awakening charm.

Harry on the other side of the room also stirred as the spell was cast, it was then that the medi-witch realised something, something that almost made her laugh out loud. However she doubted that the two wizards were ready to hear this fantabulous news just yet, not after Severus had just found out about the baby.

"Where am I, what happened?" The potions professor asked as he sat up, he saw Dumbledore lying in the bed opposite his and the memories came rushing back to him. "Where is Harry?"

"He tried to leave" Tonks said before Poppy could respond.

"But he fainted, he's here."

"Tell me Poppy, is it true what he said?"

"Yes, I am his care giver over the course of the pregnancy, I did of course advise him to tell you sooner however he seemed adamant that he have his long named sexual conquests."

"So your telling me that he didn't say anything about him being pregnant purely because he wanted to have sex?"

"Pretty much, he knew that you would either wish to stop while the pregnancy ran its course, which is completely unnecessary until he is in his third trimester or that you would leave him." Silence, Poppy looked at Severus concerned, "Your not going to leave him are you?"

"I don't want children, never have and I never will."

"Severus!" Poppy said outraged, never before had a father to be spoken that way to her about children.

Severus didn't respond, not really wanting to hang around for this Dumbledore got up to leave taking everyone else with him as he thought that it was for the best that Harry and Severus sorted this one out on their own, with Poppy as a mediator of course.

Severus glanced over to the bed where Harry lay, neither knew that he was faking sleep although Poppy suspected that he was, instead he listened intently to their conversation, waiting anxiously for Severus' reply.

"Well, you need to decide now Severus, you cannot lead him in a fool's paradise, you need to figure out whether you love him, whether you love the child that he carries."

"And if I do not?"

"Then I suggest that you leave before he wakes up, if what Tonks says is true he was all prepared to leave anyway, scared of your reaction no doubt."

Severus was then left by the medi-witch to dwell on his thoughts, his eyes once again landed upon Harry, he missed the tears flowing from closed eyes, too blind to see them and the pain that he was causing the younger wizard.

Snape's mind flashed back to his own childhood, did he really want to put a child through the same upbringing that he had suffered, no, because no one deserved that.

Severus sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He was taking Poppy's advice and leaving, too much of a coward to stay and face the problem he now encountered. On no account had Severus ever considered himself cowardly and never would he run away from his deatheater/spy duties but this was different.

From this he would run.

So without looking back Severus walked out of the infirmary, closing the door behind him with a click. The sound brought Poppy back out of her office where she found a distort Harry sobbing noisily and an empty bed where Severus had been only moments ago.

"I had a feeling that you were indeed awake, I assume you heard all of that." Harry managed a nod as tear after tear continued to fall. "Poor child, unfortunately Severus has always been that way, what do you plan on doing?"

"Leaving, it's as simple as that, I will give you the floo address, Severus' decision won't make me neglect my baby."

"Too right, I will need to keep a constant eye on you, since circumstances do not allow you to come to me I will of course go to you."

"Thank you, but I do have one question." Poppy nodded, "Was Severus married or was he in a serious relationship before me?" Harry asked and at once the medi-witch looked a little apprehensive about answering.

"No, I don't think that he was in a _serious _relationship however he had something that I suppose you would call a summer fling a few years ago, though it ended very abruptly." Poppy's tone however suggested that there was a little more than she was letting on.

"You're not telling me everything, what is it?"

"I believe that the man in question, I truly do not know his name but I believe that he too was pregnant."

"So this is normal for him, he gets me pregnant and then its over?"

"I doubt that it is anything personal, just him, I think that he may be scared, that wouldn't surprise me in the slightest."

"It wouldn't surprise me either but if that is the case then its up to him to sort it out and come to his sense, I won't spend my entire fortune on therapy and I don't want my baby to be raised by someone with as many issues as Severus."

"Do you love Severus, Harry?"

"Yes but I won't be ruled by that, I love him but my child comes first, I want to be able to supply a nice, safe, secure environment for it to be brought up in."

"And I strongly agree with you Harry, but maybe two parents would benefit the child just as much."

"That isn't up to me Poppy; he's already left one child fatherless why should mine be any different? Just because I'm Harry Potter doesn't make my life perfect, far from it but I determined that my baby will play no part in this damn war."

Poppy paused, "Very well Harry, just make sure you send me an owl so that we can arrange your check ups. Feel free to leave when ever you are ready, I can do nothing more for you than I have done already."

"Thank you Poppy and one last thing, if Severus wants to se me or send me a letter, anything, allow him to, don't withhold it but only if he asks and Dumbledore is not know under any circumstances."

"I will do, it is good that you have not given up on him."

"Of one gives up on love then what else do they have?"

An hour later and Harry was all walking out the great oak doors that had represented such hope and happiness when he was a young boy. He had seen no sign of Severus, he had a feeling that the older wizard was avoiding him.

He was tempted to use the Marauders Map but he wasn't sure that he actually wanted to know where Severus was, so instead he just left.

Dumbledore watched from his office as the young wizard crossed the grounds on foot and stuck out his wand hand, Severus watched from the owlery window, part of the potions master was glad that Harry was gone however another part of him was screaming to get him back before it was too late however it was already too late.

Right before Severus' eyes Harry boarded the violently purple, triple decker Knight bus and vanished. He could have cried but he was Severus Snape and Severus didn't shed tears over lost lovers.

Somewhere deep inside him though there was something nagging at him, telling him that Harry was more than that; he was a boyfriend, a worthy companion. He had certainly not felt this way about Ian and the brat that he had foolishly conceived.

_Why did they have to ruin perfect sex filled relationships by being stupid enough to become pregnant. Idiots! _Severus thought angrily, cursing young hormonal men. However now Harry was out of his life forever, just like Ian and whatever his son was called.

Harry was currently disembarking the Knight Bus in the village of Godric Hollow, in front of him was his house, or rather the house his parents had owned before their murder.

The garden was over grown and the thatched roof of the cottage needed to be redone as soon as possible. Despite that the little one storey cottage was perfect, one averagely sized reception room, a moderately sized kitchen/dinning room a small but comfortably so bathroom with all the fixtures and fittings not to mention two nicely sized bedrooms.

He started to make up a to-do list of what he had to do, smiling as he wandered around his new home, the house where his baby was going to be born however the smile faded when Harry realised that Severus wouldn't be there to see that miracle.

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Hope you liked this chapter, no slash but I hope there will be some soon, I hope so anyway, I don't really have a plan, I just write what I feel sometimes I evenwrite in my classes lol. PLEASE REVIEW!


	7. Chapter 7

Walk away and I stumble

Chapter seven

They were standing in a small room, a baby crib between them, Harry and Severus both stood over it looking in lovingly. Then suddenly from nowhere Severus had a pillow in his hand and before Harry could stop him he was smothering the sleeping baby.

Harry awoke with a start, he hated these dreams, they were so vivid and real, he didn't want to think that the potion professor would ever hurt there baby even if he didn't want to be with them.

The dreams had become more and more life like over the week that he had been away from Hogwarts. Sometimes it was Severus' murdering their child like tonight and other times he saw Voldemort taking his baby.

Harry flopped down upon his bed unable to get back to sleep and his stomach churning, he was feeling very nauseous so he didn't attempt to kept up or move because he knew that as soon as he did he'd need to dash to the bathroom.

He caressed his stomach gently while moving slowly to get up, the thought of cooking breakfast for himself was a little too sickening for him to bear but getting dressed, at least part way was an achievable goal.

However when he sat up his bout of nausea hit him hard and he had to make a quick dash for the bathroom but he made it on time and was able to empty the contents of his stomach.

Along with that Harry was suffering from minor heartburn and slight indigestion as his body adjusted to being pregnant. His waistline had not really expanded at all, only a slight amount, his trousers still fit him at least.

Harry had planned on going some shopping, buying something's for the baby, he had delayed the latter as he had hoped to be doing it with Severus but the older wizard had not of yet come to his senses, in fact Harry had heard nothing form him.

Severus had in fact buried himself deep in his work trying to forget about Harry and trying to suppress his feelings for the Gryffindor, it had all been in vain so far. He had avoided Poppy completely as she had the habit of glaring at him in a horrid fashion.

It was only when she was in desperate need of potions that she had run out of that he had to finally face his demon that was in the form of an irritable medi-witch.

"I'm glad that you stopped by Severus," Poppy said as he entered with a handful of potion vials, "I need a word."

"If that word is Harry Potter I am not interested."

"It is but you need to hear this," Severus motioned for Poppy to go on but he did so in a way that suggested that he wasn't the slightest bit interested. "Harry specifically told me that I was not to give you his address unless you asked for it."

"And that concerns me how?"

"I know you miss him Severus, we can all see it, just admit it to yourself, he's different, you feel for him and the sooner that you admit that the better it will be for the both of you." Severus seemed unable to respond so poppy continued, "I'm going to see him next week, you are very welcome to come with me, I will of course be doing an ultra sound to see if the baby remains healthy."

Snape nodded and left promising he would be back with more potions later, as he walked he dwelled upon what Poppy had told him, he wanted to see Harry again, what she had said was true, he did miss him but he wasn't sure he was ready for everything that went with being together.

Although it wasn't as if he had a choice in the matter. Then again there was so much else going on right now, especially with Voldemort being back, there was no word on his plans but Dumbledore had got a rough idea of what they entailed.

Did he really want to bring Harry back to Hogwarts where Albus could manipulate him into fighting in the war, he had heard from other order members what Tonks had said about Harry's baby. She had wanted him to fight anyway, the baby's safely be damned, he had experienced a small cry of outrage at this but then asked himself why did he care. He could think of a hundred answers and they all made him wonder why he had let Harry go.

Did he really want to be a single, greasy, big nosed, potions master his entire life or was it that he was just too scared of what could be that he didn't realise what he already had. He would never admit this to anyone but he pined to be with Harry but to him it was too late, the young Gryffindor would never forgive him now.

However he did deserve to see unborn child at least once and made a mental note to tell Poppy that he would be accompanying her in a week's time, once again Severus held back his tears as he did often nowadays, he refused weakness, he couldn't be weak, love was to be his only weakness.

Harry had been happily spelling the second bedroom into something cute for the baby, assembling furniture and such to his liking, he had already bought a few books and teddy bears for his child. Poppy was due later and he was anxious to show her what he had done.

He had had to purchase larger tops as his jeans were now extremely tight, he'd bought elastic trousers for the later stages. His morning sickness had started to ease off a little now but he was still feeling a little nauseous in the mornings. When he had written to Poppy to say this, he'd actually done a little happy dance when, for the first time in weeks he had managed to keep his breakfast down where it belonged, she had told him that was perfectly normal.

Harry was in the baby's room when he heard Poppy floo into his sitting room, and then her voice followed. "Harry, I hope you don't mind I bought a visitor for you, he was anxious to see you."

"I'll be right though Poppy," Harry said as he pulled on a t-shirt and then walked through into the sitting room while saying: "I can't wait to show you the …" He stopped in mid sentence when he saw Severus.

"How are you?" Severus asked, he knew it was lame but it was the only thing he could think of to say, the fact that they had shared long in-depth conversations between sexual intercourse didn't seem to come into consideration.

"Pregnant, you?" Harry responded as he gazed into deep onyx orbs that seemed to penetrate his own emerald eyes.

"Boy's if you could reframe while I examine Harry then you can have your tense reunion while I am not here."

"Of course, sorry Poppy, but before you go I must show you the baby's room, I've just finished it, using magic of course."

"What colour have you done it?"

"Yellow, I didn't really want to paint it pink or blue seeing as we don't know the gender yet, when will I be able to find out?"

"I can do a spell today if you want," Poppy said as she waved her wand and the screen appeared showing the baby inside of Harry. "Your little one is in perfect health, I can see that the joints have formed nicely and if you look closely you can see that the baby has begun to swim around although it'll be a while before you can feel those movements."

"Wow, it's amazing" Harry said grinning madly, then remembering Severus he glanced over to the older wizard who was watching in astonishment, there in front of him was his unborn child, whether it was a boy or a girl it was absolute perfection. "What do you think Severus?"

"Beautiful" He managed to say, Poppy gave a small smile to Harry and a subtle wink, she then closed the screen and vanished the gel like potion.

"Right are you ready to find out the gender?" Harry nodded eagerly and Poppy cast the spell, a faint pink light surrounded his abdomen. "Congratulations Harry, Severus your going to be having a baby girl."

"A girl?" Harry said with tears of joy filling his eyes.

"Yes, congratulations, now, show me this room of yours and then I will be on my way, I have to say that I do love this little place, it's so cosy."

"Yes, it's perfect isn't it, it was actually my parents place." Poppy nodded with interest as she was lead through to the nursery.

The walls were yellow but had the occasional sunflower, butterfly and bumblebee. The crib followed the same sort of pattern, yellow and white chequered canopy with the same bedding, the wood was white and there was even a yellow teddy in the corner.

"You have done a marvellous job here Harry, it is perfect but may I suggest that you put no added stress upon your body and only use magic if necessary, the baby is feeding on your magic now."

"Okay, I'm done in here for the moment anyway." Harry said, he noticed that Severus had followed them through and was also looking around the room. "I suppose I can think up possible names."

"Alright, just be careful from now on, I'll see you in a couple of weeks then, now you boys play nice, if you need anything I'm only a fire call away."

"Thank you Poppy, see you in a fortnight."

A few moments later and Poppy had gone and Harry offered Severus tea and cake, he had made it especially for Poppy and his meeting but seeing as Severus had turned up he may as well put it to good use.

They sat down together in the reception room even though they said nothing, it was Harry who broke the silence first. "I assume that you did have something to tell me, do you want to say it sometime soon?"

"I've missed you these past two weeks" Severus said, his voice was barely above a whisper however Harry heard each and every word that escaped his lips.

"Is that it, you miss me?"

"It's more than I felt for Ian."

"Who?" Then comprehension dawned and before Severus could enlighten him Harry cleared it up for him, "The guy you left when you discovered he was pregnant, is this just habit for you or something?"

"There are many reasons Harry, I refuse to drag up my past here, most is too disturbing, I doubt I'd be able to cope but there is something about you that made me care."

"So a thousand other men could never reach you, how could I have been the one?"

"I don't know, I've been asking myself that very same question."

"Do you love me?"

"I cannot say that I do for I do not believe that there is love only infatuation and lust, the need for sexual contentment."

"How can anyone not believe in love, the one emotion that keeps us going that starts unstoppable wars and fuels our lives?"

"It is a curse that all each member of the Snape family is burdened with."

"I refuse to believe that but I think I now realise why you left all those men when you discovered that they were pregnant, were you afraid that those children would end up alone and unloved for the rest of their lives?"

Severus said nothing, Harry took that for confirmation. "Did you not have faith in your lovers that they wouldn't allow this, you're a fool Severus Snape plan and simple?"

"For once I think I agree with you, I am a fool but I am the way I am for a reason Harry." Severus said gravely, his nose was buried in his tea cup now, he refused to look up and meet Harry's gaze.

"If you put your nose any further into that cup then your going to need a snorkel, I need to know what you intend to do now and I want you to look at me when you tell me."

"And if I have no answer?"

"Then you can leave and come back when you do, I won't be messed around, I will always be honest with my feelings, I love you Severus but our child comes first, I refuse to allow her to be messed around in our couple issues."

"Whatever your definition of love is Harry I know I feel something for you, I wouldn't be here if I didn't and I know it isn't much for you but it's a lot for me even though it may not seem that way."

"I do understand that Severus and I know that you have issues to work through and I am willing to help you work through them because I want to be with you."

"I don't understand why when you could have anyone in the world."

"Okay to start off with I couldn't have anyone, not now, look at me I'm already gaining weight, no sane man would come near me, you don't count because your not sane and you made me this way and secondly, that is the first issue we are going to work on, why do you not have any self confidence?"

It was indeed a very long night and by dawn the two wizards were snuggled together on the sofa, somehow during the night they had shifted into such a position that Harry was in Severus' arms, leaning against his chest, using it as a pillow.

It was Severus who awoke first, astounded that they had talked for so long and fallen asleep in such an uncomfortable position, his back was killing him but the sight of a sleeping Harry Potter curled up against him made his heart melt.

There he was, stomach slightly swollen, eyes closed peacefully and worry lines gone, his left hand was placed protectively over his stomach where the baby was, if ever Severus believed in love it was this moment.

At least that was the case until emerald orbs fluttered open and Harry's eyes met his own onyx orbs, when the potions professor smiled Harry could have kissed him, of course he didn't, instead he began to sit up, stretching cramped muscles.

"Do you want to use the bathroom while I cook breakfast or the other way around?" Harry asked this in such a casual tone that one would expect that this happened often and Severus hadn't walked out on him a few weeks ago.

"Umm, you go for the bathroom and I'll cook, what do you feel up to?"

"Nothing stressful, certainly nothing fried, maybe toast and waffles, I like waffles, so much better than pancakes because you can fill the little holes with things."

Severus laughed, he hadn't laughed for so long, in fact since the day he found out about the pregnancy, Harry's hear fluttered at the sound, he always did like to hear the Slytherin laugh. "Waffles it is then."

Harry couldn't really remember the last time that they had sat down like this and just talked, it was nice however Harry hadn't forgotten what Severus had done, far from it, it was the foremost topic in his mind however he knew that there was no need to bring it up, not after the long conversation they had had last night.

Harry sat with Severus at the round oak table eating waffles filled with chocolate, cream, yogurt, jam and even marmalade with icing sugar all over the top, Severus settled with the latter and chose not to comment on Harry's strange variety of toppings.

"I know this is sudden and it may be a little too soon to be asking this of you but I was wondering if you wanted to accompany me out this afternoon." Severus asked nervously all too aware that it was more than likely this was going to be rejected without a second thought.

"I'm not sure and it isn't that I don't want to but there are a lot of muggles around here along with witches and wizards, I'm either going to be recognized as the boy-who-lived or the muggles will see my not so subtle bump."

"Can we not floo or apperate."

Harry shook his head sadly, "You heard Poppy, the baby is now feeding on my magic I can't do anything that may stress the baby."

"Oh, I am sorry."

"Don't be sorry, this is … kind of new to you, you've never experienced a pregnancy before, we're both a little lost so don't worry and just because we can't go out doesn't mean that we can't stay in."

"But this place is tiny, I don't know how you cope."

"It's not that tiny and besides it's more cosy, in fact I know exactly what we can do."

"Are you going to tell me what you plan for us to do?"

"You are going to be taking an active role as a father from today."

"I am?"

"Yes, you are going to help me finish the baby's room."

"But I thought you told Poppy that it was finished."

"I only told her that so she wouldn't think that I was going to over use my magic and finish it myself, now I have you to do that for me."

"So what do I have to do?"

"Come with me and I'll show you."

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Another chapter finished WOOOOOO! Please review and tell me what you think, thank you to everyone that has reviewed, it means a great deal to me. Love you all. 


	8. Chapter 8

Walk away and I stumble

I want to move the story along a bit now so about four-five maybe even six weeks is going to be squashed nicely into here, hope you enjoy it.

Chapter eight

Harry and Severus' relation had been progressing nicely for the past week, Harry's stomach wasn't getting in the way yet, the baby was only a small bump, barely noticeable so they had been enjoying the increasing hormones often.

Their baby girl was now officially called a foetus and of course they had celebrated with a lot of sex, although it didn't reach crazy naked monkey sex let alone snaky sex or lion sex, it didn't even deserve to be classified as 'crazy'.

It was more, gentle and loving, Severus was being extra careful because he didn't want to hurt the baby even though it was barely an inch long in length.

Poppy had owled them a letter telling them all about ninth week of the pregnancy, apparently it was a critical stage of development for their baby and a time of rapid growth so he had been banned from using magic at all however this was Severus who had put this rule in place not Poppy.

Over the past week Severus had become a little over protective of his lover, this included cooking a lot of food for each and every meal that was available to them, this not only included breakfast lunch and dinner but also luncheon, brunch, afternoon tea, super and then there were the snakes.

Harry however didn't really mind this so much seeing as his appetite had greatly improved recently, also a normal sign of pregnancy. The smells admitting from the food being cooked had even stopped causing him to take a trip to the porcelain goddess, his nausea having almost completely subsided.

There were certain things that did still bother him, Severus, after making sure he extracted each and everyone from Harry had expressly forbidden them from entering the house. This had been a real blow for Harry as he had a real craving for shrimp.

There had been an interesting incident with the take-away restaurant down the street. While Severus had been teaching at Hogwarts Harry had decided that enough was enough, he was carrying this baby and therefore he deserved shrimp so he phoned in an order and then gone wandering off down the street, a baggy hoodie top covering his slightly swollen belly.

When he had arrived the smell of his order made his stomach protest and he had spent an entire twenty minutes of his life explaining to a Chinese man why he was throwing up in his toilet and then a further half an hour asking him to take the shrimp away.

He had learned from this and it had also given Severus a good laugh afterwards after the great lecture about leaving the house of course. Harry was a little sick of being wrapped in bubble wrap constantly, Severus was wearing down his last nerve.

Of course it had occurred to Harry that this was just a cunning (the man was a Slytherin after all) plan for Harry to leave him and then Snape could skip off guilt free. So Harry said nothing, there was a nice element to it however, the feeling of being adored by another human being.

The following week was just as hellish for Harry, not because of the pregnancy but because of Severus, Harry was looking forward to seeing Poppy and having a break from the protectiveness, he was practically being wrapped in bubble wrap the entire time.

He wasn't permitted to do anything without his lover by his side, Severus Snape had gone from cold hearted bastard/sex maniac to a possessive lover/vicar type person who wouldn't have sex if his life depended on it.

This really annoyed Harry seeing as his hormones were raging and all he wanted to do was have sex all the time, it was all he could do not to pounce on his lover every time that he walked into the room.

He managed to become turned on at the slightest thing, for example, when Severus had wandered into their bedroom one evening nothing but a towel covering him Harry had actually jumped him and began to ravish him.

Severus at first had responded but had then thought twice, pushed Harry off, mumbled something and then gone to finish himself off, leaving Harry to do the same, from then he had tried to reframe from putting temptation in Harry's hormonal reach.

The day that Poppy was due Harry had sent Severus out to get groceries as the couldn't exactly survive without them and also clothes for their daughter who they had not discussed names for yet. Harry had expressly forbidden Severus from buying anything black; he refused to have her in any dark, depressing colours. Severus had reluctantly agreed and gone.

So when the medi-witch did appear Harry had baked cake and cookies for them, he had just put it all out in the living room along with a tea pot and tea cups. He felt so privileged to be doing anything remotely like this seeing as anything hot was out of bounds for Harry and the kitchen was a no go area.

He practically threw himself on the medi-witch and hugged her in relief. She only managed to chuckle as he began to explain everything about Severus and how much he was over doing it, he really had gone from one extreme to the other, it was almost unreal.

However Harry had a plan and he was going to follow through on it, hopefully that would stop this ridiculous behaviour.

Harry however didn't tell Poppy his plan, he just allowed her to perform the spell on his belly, the gel like potion extremely cold as always but the baby was perfectly healthy, everything was as it should be, almost all fully developed. Poppy assured Harry that despite that the little one would continue to grow until delivery, meaning Harry was about to get bigger and he was going to do so extremely fast.

As the two of them sat and had tea Harry discovered that his less frequent bathroom breaks that had become overly common recently would wane slightly now since his uterus had shifted upwards however this was only a rest bite as soon the baby would get so big that it would once again press against his bladder.

Unfortunately however along with this blessing he was now starting to have slight headaches and dizzy spells, Poppy once again reassured him that this was perfectly normal at this stage of the pregnancy.

At his stage Severus returned with bags upon bags of baby things, there was varying colours and too Harry's great surprise no black, something that he was extremely happy about. There were dresses and frilly baby suits for a new born; certainly nothing that either Harry or Poppy would have expected Severus to buy.

After Poppy had left Harry sat Severus down to put his plan in action, they had all spent the afternoon admiring the little clothes and draping them over Harry's tiny bump as a joke.

However now it was time to be serious and for Harry to put his plan in action, "Severus we really have to talk." He began, now this isn't exactly the best way to begin a conversation with a lover as they will always expect the worst, those six words have forever been the sign of a break up soon to come.

"Okay, have I done something to upset you Harry, if I did I didn't mean it." Severus asked sitting down next to his boyfriend on the soft leather couch.

"No, no, you've done nothing wrong; I just want you to do something for me is all."

"I'd do anything for you Harry, what is it?"

"I want you to get in contact with your former lover and your child."

Severus was flabbergasted, "what, you want me to what?"

"I don't want you to realise that you love him and your child more than me and your daughter but I want you to establish contact with your other child."

"You want me to establish contact with my twelve year old son who doesn't know that I am his father, that I have to watch every day of the school year because Ian decided to send him there."

"He's at Hogwarts?"

"Yes, why did you ask this of me?"

"Because I wanted our daughter to have contact with her brother, that's all, nothing drastic, I just wanted your son … what's his name?"

"Jonathan,"

"I just wanted Jonathan to be recognized as a part of our family, is that so wrong?"

"Yes, Ian has married Harry, Jonathan recognizes this other man as his father and I am happy to leave it at that, I do not desire to drag up the past, it would only hurt both Ian and Jonathan, something I am sure that you do not want."

"No, I don't want to hurt them but I think that they have a right to know, how about …"

"No, I won't allow it Harry, not a chance, now drop it okay."

Harry nodded however he really didn't mean it and had every intention of writing to Ian and informing him of there daughter who was Jonathan's baby sister.

Another week past and Harry had been able to secretly attain Ian's address so that he could owl him, I would explain how he managed this but there are far more interesting things that I can be getting on with.

As a couple, Harry and Severus had started to discuss names for their daughter, nothing had yet to be decided. "Emma"

Harry shook his head, "Emily"

"Not so keen, Madison"

"Nice but not so sure I want to call our daughter that, Olivia"

"Not bloody likely, Hannah"

"Too common, Abigail"

"Ew, Isabella"

"Not a chance, Ashley"

Severus gave a disgusted look, "Samantha?"

"That's pretty but how about … Elizabeth?"

"The muggle queen I don't think so …. Arwen, I was always a lord of the rings fan."

"You a lord of the rings fan, who would have thought, it's a nice name to be fair but not really what I was think of, how about Chloe?"

"Not sure, I always liked Ava"

"But I don't, what about Sarah or Grace?"

"Far too common for a child of mine, my cousin was called Alyssa, I always liked that."

"That is certainly a possibility, how about Kayla?"

"I like it, okay, Kayla but we still need a middle name for her, Jessica, Sophia, what do you think?"

"Kayla Sophia Potter"

"Potter-Snape"

"Okay, you win, Kayla Sophia Potter Snape."

Harry and Severus were certainly in high spirits as now Harry was officially in his second trimester, his stomach still wasn't getting in the way and they had celebrated by going out, Harry wearing a baggy jumper to cover Kayla.

It had been such a pleasant evening out and afterwards they had strolled along the street hand in hand, to Harry it had been great, it had showed him that Severus really was in love with him even if he never admitted it and wouldn't even when under the influence of veritiserum.

Twelve weeks into Harry's pregnancy and his stomach had grown at an alarming rate and it was still growing much to Severus' amusement and Harry's discomfort. According to the visit from Poppy the previous day Kayla was approximately three and a half inches long and had begun practicing inhaling/exhaling movements.

However on the plus side the pregnancy hormones that had been causing Harry to jump on Severus had levelled off however because of that Harry had a slight problem with constipation, not something that is a very enjoyable topic to discuss so I won't gross you out with details but lets just say Severus avoided the bathroom after Harry had used it.

By the fourteenth week Harry began to giggle at the moments in his belly, they weren't regular, apparently this was because it was Harry's first pregnancy and therefore Severus hadn't had the joy of feeling them also.

In the scan that Poppy had given them it had shown Kayla sucking her thumb, it had been the most adorable thing ever, however it had all been spoilt as Voldemort had shown his ugly face and attacked the muggle world.

It was only a matter of time before he moved on to the wizarding world, right now killing muggle's was fun for his deatheater's and it was also sending Harry an unvoiced message. 'Come out and play'.

Harry however for obvious reasons wasn't willing to oblige like he normally would have done, according to Poppy Dumbledore was going mad looking for him, he was threatening to banish Poppy from Hogwarts if she didn't tell him but Poppy had held her ground on that one.

"You can't let him know Poppy, he'll force me to fight, baby and all, he won't care."

"I know, he does not think that the baby is important but I do, I won't allow either you or Kayla to come to harm do not fret, worry isn't healthy right now Harry, I am sure that Severus would never allow it. His disappearance has already caused enough of an uproar, there are rumours that he has returned to the dark lord."

"That's ridiculous, Severus would never go back to him, who on earth would anyone think that?"

"You know what Rita Skeeter is like, anything for a story."

"That whore, I'll kill her myself!"

"Calm down love" Severus said from the doorway. "She can be dealt with later, besides the wizarding world can think what it likes, besides, I may just go back and fight."

"You will do no such thing" Harry protested.

"And why not"

"Because as soon as Kayla is born I'm going back and ending it myself."

"Not a chance in hell"

"You think your going to stop me?"

"I will find a way if I have to, you will not lumber me with Kayla."

"Lumber? Did you just say lumber? She isn't a burden Severus, she's a blessing." Severus said nothing, "You bastard, fine, go back to Hogwarts, go and fight this damn war but if you do don't expect to come back into this house."

"Harry …"

"Don't you dare take that tone with me Severus; I have every right to be mad."

"You know full well that I never wanted Kayla, I'm doing this for you, because I care about you, I want to be with you."

"Then why can you not tell me that you love me, why do you always say that you care, it isn't good enough any more Severus I need to hear you tell me that you love me." Severus was silent, not a word escaped his lips, this only seemed to enrage Harry further. "Fine, if you can't say it then leave."

"Harry … please."

"No, you don't love Kayla and never will, you claim to 'care' for me but you can't tell me that you love me, I don't know why I even bothered."

"You bothered Harry because you love me"

"Yes, I do and at least I'm man enough to admit that, you hide from your feelings and run from your responsibilities, go and fight in this damn war see if I care but I want you nowhere near my daughter."

"Can we not talk about this, your hormonal and not thinking clearly?"

"HORMONAL!" Harry shouted before picking up a plate that contained cup cakes that he had baked earlier and threw them at Severus', who ducked, they only barely missed his head. "I AM NOT HORMONAL, I'M FUCKING PISSED OFF!"

"He's right Severus, hormonal imbalance isn't until later" Poppy said, she had been sitting on the sofa watching the argument escalate.

"Poppy please leave," Severus requested however before the medi-witch responded Harry did for her.

"No, Poppy you can stay, this conversation is over, Severus is leaving."

"Actually I should be going, Severus I think you had better accompany me back to Hogwarts for the time being, Harry evidently needs some space."

* * *

Fear not people of earth I come in peace and Severus will be back, I'm just sick of stories where they lead perfect happy lives, relationships aren't all peachy and families don't always stay together. Don't forget to review. 


	9. Chapter 9

Walk away and I stumble

Chapter nine

_Harry_

_I am surprised to find you writing to me, however unsurprised at the reason, Severus, unfortunately hasn't changed from what you have told me, still as selfish as ever. From your letter I can say that he does in fact 'care' for you. _

_However I am not sure how far the stretches, it does say something that he was pretending to play happy families with you, it was more that what he did for me. _

_You are very right when you say that Kayla and Jonathan should have contact if they chose to do so, Jonathan also now has two other siblings from my current marriage to someone I believe you know, Neville Longbottom. _

_They are Sarah, nine and Jessica five. As for your invitation for tea tomorrow afternoon, we would be delighted to come, the five of us are greatly looking forward to it, Neville is especially ecstatic about catching up with his old school friend whereas I find it an honour to be invited to the home of Harry Potter._

_All the best, Ian and Neville Longbottom. _

Harry read the letter with slight happiness growing inside of him, he was disappointed that the letter hadn't come yesterday so that he could have shown it to Severus; however he was gone, maybe for good this time.

He hated the fact that they had argued but he knew that they couldn't keep on pretending, just as Ian had said, they weren't really a happy family however much Harry had liked to think that maybe they were.

If for nothing else then for Kayla he couldn't go on pretending, not any more, of course he wanted the perfect life but he couldn't have that, at least not with Severus acting in the way that he did and Voldemort breathing down his neck, however he wasn't about to sacrifice his daughters happiness.

Severus meanwhile was sat hunched over the bar at the Hogshead drinking his own body weight in alcohol plus some. He had been in there since the fight had happened, Poppy had returned of course to Hogwarts but Severus couldn't go back there.

This had been the only wizarding bar that would allow him through the door, with all the deatheater rumours flying about he wasn't surprised. Fire whiskey after fire whiskey was knocked back and they just kept on coming,

He had lost Harry, he hadn't walked out, he had been thrown out and therefore couldn't go back. As this thought crossed his mind he downed another drink, and then another and then another until he couldn't have stood up straight even if he had wanted to.

The bar man, being Albus' brother gave him a floo and asked him to come and collect his potions professor from the pub floor.

When Dumbledore did finally arrive an hour later Severus was shouting drunkenly at the top of his voice that he had lost the one person that he had ever truly loved, that losing Harry was the worst possible choice that he could ever have made.

Albus took him back to Hogwarts and sat him in the great hall before summoning a potion to clear the alcohol from his system, once this had been done or rather forced down his throat the headmaster sat opposite his potions professor and asked a perfectly sane and understandable question but it was a question that caused the professor to break down into tears for the first time in he didn't know how many years, it had been so long.

"Tell me what drove you to this Severus?"

Through the never ending tears Severus Snape managed to get out two words. "Harry Potter." And through these two uttered words Albus understood everything.

"You could not show your love to him"

"No, I could not and it hurt him so much, I could see it as each day passed and I wanted so much to return the love that he felt for me."

"You cannot force love upon yourself Severus, if love is meant to be there then it will grow in time." Dumbledore said wisely, "I know that I am not your most favourite person right now but I have come to believe that Harry was not supposed to mother a child, he must do what is right and fight."

Severus head snapped up and fixed the headmaster with an icy stare, "I refuse to be your way to Harry, Albus, I may not be able to show him that I love him but he deserves more than that … more than me."

"I am not using you to get to Harry, no one has ever been able to get through to that stubborn boy and I doubt anyone ever will, he will have that child …"

"Kayla, her name is Kayla" Severus interrupted.

"Alright, Harry will have Kayla whether I like it or not and she will have great power … power that the …" Dumbledore paused realising something, "Here is what I suggest you do Severus, whether you listen to me is up to you." Snape nodded "Far be it for me to help you stand in the way of my goals but I suggest that you talk to him, tell him about your past, about Ian, Jonathan and even Nathan if you must but make him understand."

"I believe that you are up to something headmaster and it involves my child and Harry, I will not leave here until you tell me."

"It is only a thought of mine and has to be thought though, a theory that has to be tested if you will but fear not, Harry is powerful and he is strong, nothing will come near him if he does not wish it to do so. Do not worry, let an old man go about his day, do not fuss Severus."

"I still do not trust you, Harry doesn't either, why do you think that he is hiding from you and now hiding from me, it is because he cannot trust us, Ron and Hermione have gone off and practically forgotten about him because now they know that he is there and is able bodied enough to fight they don't seem to give a damn any longer."

"Now Severus, do you not think that a little uncalled for?"

"No, I don't Albus because it is the truth, the truth may hurt but that is what it is there for, for Harry trust and friendship and love is everything, lose one and you lose it all. He is the most special person in the world, unique and beautiful; he can see the good in everyone even when they cannot see it in themselves."

"I don't think that I am the one that needs to hear this Severus, I think that you need to get a good nights sleep and then tomorrow evening go and see him, tell him pretty much what you just told me, if he is the same person that I know then he will, if he truly loves you then he will."

"I wish that that were true Albus but Harry knows that I am not capable of love, he needs someone who can love him with a passion."

"Believe it or not Severus you are capable of such a love you just don't know it yet, but as I say you must talk to him, tell him why you find it hard to open your heart and he will understand, however for the moment I must retire to my bed, I expect you to resume your teaching position tomorrow Severus, your classes have already fallen behind."

The following morning and Harry was in the kitchen baking muffins and cookies, making sausage rolls and other little snack foods for his guests. By the time they arrived the table was spread with a delicious selection of food for them all.

Harry opened the door to them and welcomed them to his home; he hugged Neville, shook Ian's hand and then moved on to the children. "You must be Jonathan," Harry said smiling at the little boy.

"Yeah, that's me, my dad told me all about you, did you really kill a basilisk when you were my age?"

"I did indeed young man, now who are these two beautiful little girls?" Harry asked kneeling down to their level, the girls who had obviously heard his story edged back looking at him with puppy dog eyes.

"This is Jessica and Sarah" Ian said pointing to each, "They are normally as mad as a box of frogs but they're just shy today."

"It's okay, come on through, Severus isn't here so we've got a while to talk." Harry said ushering them all through into the reception room.

"Did he not want to see us?" Ian asked Harry quietly once the children were out of earshot.

"It's slightly more complicated than that, he actually didn't know you were coming round, you see we had a fight a couple of nights ago and I kicked him out, I haven't heard from him since, I think it may be over between us."

"Well if you kicked him out rather than him leaving then there is a high chance that he will return to you, maybe you'll be the one to break him."

"I don't know if I can cope with him any more, he needs about as much attention as Kayla's going to need when she's born, how am I supposed to cope with him as well as a new born baby?"

"As I hear it that is not your only problem, however such sorrowful topics should not be addressed here or now, not in front of the children, Severus doesn't know what he is missing by leaving you, he is a very foolish man."

"I thing that I have come to understand that, I am sorry about how he treated you all those years ago but you have a son who is the most amazing little boy and two beautiful little girls. Neville is a very lucky man to have found you, I hope that you two are very happy together."

"We are happy, I just wish that you could be the same, whether with Severus or with someone who won't mess you around as much as he will."

The rest of the afternoon was spent pleasantly enough with conversation and laughter, Neville it turned out was holding a big secret that he revealed to Harry only just as they were about to leave, that for the first time in his and Ian's relationship he was carrying their baby.

"Congratulations Neville, you two make a great couple and even better parents, I'm so happy for you, don't lose touch okay."

"We promise, thank you for acknowledging Jonathan it means so much to him and so much to us." Neville said as he gave his friend one last hug as everyone piled out of the front door. "Take care of yourself Harry and your little one."

"You too Neville, you two are the future, I think it is about time that I created a future that was brighter for our children than the one that awaits for them now."

"What do you mean Harry?"

"We have taken on the wars of our fathers, I refuse to have them do the same, I'm going to end it once and for all, no more running and no more hiding, it was the five of you that made me realise that I can't hide from my destiny."

"But what will happen to Kayla if you go off to fight Voldemort, surely that would kill her."

"I don't plan on going to fight him heavily pregnant and hormonal Neville, I may look that stupid but I do have a few ounce of brains," Harry joked, "I plan to challenge him to a duel just me and him after the baby is born."

"Who will take care of your daughter?"

"That is why tomorrow I will have to talk to Severus, if he will not take into consideration our daughters future and my duty to the rest of the wizarding world then he isn't fit to parent, and if that happens then before I go to fight I am going to make sure that she has the best family possible to take care of her."

"I always admired your bravery Harry, even in school, I never understood it but that didn't stop me from admiring it, never before have I met someone who would give up everything that they have even their child who is the most precious thing in the world to them, and they give it all up for something that they don't even have to care about."

"Thanks Neville, you make me sound so much braver than I actually am, if I had a choice in the matter then this wouldn't be what I would chose to do but it is something that I must for all our sakes, now go and take care of our family, you deserve that and more."

Once that Neville, Ian and the children had gone and Harry had cleaned up the house the doorbell rang, upon opening it he saw a muggle man smiling at him holding a bunch of mixed flowers including red and white roses and white lilies.

"Delivery for a Mr Potter?"

"I am he; do you know who sent them?" Harry asked as he signed the paper thrust in front of him.

"No idea but there is a card attached, maybe it says there, have a good evening Mr Potter."

"You too, Harry said absent-mindedly as he shut the door and went to retrieve the card that was indeed attached to the roses.

_Of the themes that men have known,_

_One supremely stands alone,_

_Love is the theme, love is supreme,_

_Bright as the sun it glows,_

_I am telling all around,_

_In my heart love is found,_

Harry didn't need the brain of a genius to figure out who had sent these; it wasn't exactly hard to guess. Harry placed the beautiful arrangement of flowers in a vase and put them in pride of place upon the mantle piece.

He was just stood admiring them when the doorbell rang again, this time a witch stood there smiling at him, behind her a giant chocolate swan that Harry doubted found ever fit in the house and was so beautifully sculpted that he couldn't even think about eating it anyway.

"Delivery for a Mr Harry Potter?"

"I am he, is there a message?" he asked as he signed the paper to show that it had been delivered.

"I believe that there is, here you go dear, you are one lucky man, enjoy." She said before walking off, Harry opened the envelope and read.

_Love is patient_

_Love is kind_

_Love does not brag _

_Love does not insist on its own way _

_Love bears all things _

_Love never ends _

_Love does not annoy _

_Love is not proud _

_Love is not arrogant or rude _

_Love is not irritable or resentful _

_Love endures all things_

_Love to me, is you, I am truly sorry._

"I am sorry" A voice said from the garden gate, Harry jumped, the voice had startled him out of his trance like state.

"Severus, why did you send these things?"

"Because I should never have treated you in such a cruel way Harry and I look for your forgiveness even though I do not deserve it."

"What made you change your mind?"

"Sometimes laughter can solve the problem … sometimes a brave and true heart can save the day … sometimes someone who refuses to give in can free a trapped soul … and sometimes the sweetest of smiles can melt the coldest of hearts."

"Do you expect that I'm just going to take you back after everything that you put me through after chocolate and flowers, you think that will make everything better again?"

"No I do not think that it will make everything better but I'm hoping that you will let me inside and we can talk about it, I'm willing to explain why and tell you a little about my past."

"Then you had better come inside and talk then, but your not staying unless you want to sleep on the sofa, I won't have you pretending that everything is fine, not like before, I won't play happy families unless you truly mean it."

"Did my words mean nothing to you?"

"They are just words Severus, I need you to tell me but you came here for a different reason, you came here to tell me something else."

"Yes, I came to tell you about my past, about Ian, Jonathan and even Nathan who I believe you have never before heard of."

"No, that part of your past was concealed from me."

"Then let me enlighten you." Severus said settling himself down in the living room and conjuring a cup of tea for himself. "Nathan was the first man that I ever truly loved." He began.

* * *

Okay, it's been longer than I hoped but I found this chapter hard to write and I've been super busy Christmas shopping and such, not to mention getting in contact with my birth family that I've been seperated from for the past eighteen years of my life but I will hopefully update quicker next time. MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! Don't forget to review xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


	10. Chapter 10

Walk away and I stumble

Chapter ten

"Then let me enlighten you." Severus said settling himself down in the living room and conjuring a cup of tea for himself. "Nathan was the first man that I ever truly loved." He began.

"I was very much like you when I first fell in love, although I was slightly older than yourself at the time, he was my world, my everything and he appeared to feel the same about me, we were together a year and a half. Everything seemed to be on the right path, I was thinking about marrying him and then I found out that I was pregnant."

Severus held up a hand to stop Harry from interrupting him as he had about to, now that he had started it was far easier to just keep going.

"I thought that if I told him he would propose and we would live happily ever after, however that wasn't exactly the way that everything happened. When I told him about the baby he flipped and left me.

"I was heartbroken, didn't really know what to do with myself, I knew that living without him was going to be hard enough without having to worry about having a baby in tow."

"So what did you do?" Harry asked, he now reached down and took Severus' hand within his own, he had of course promised himself that he would not allow the potions professor to break down his barriers however the older man had now started to tear up and Harry couldn't help but feel a little sorrow for him.

"I did the most stupid thing possible, an action that I regret to this day, I went to St Mungo's and I had the child aborted. There was no sign of Nathan, at least not for another year, at which point I had only just started to get my life back together, getting my job at Hogwarts back on track and settling down there again after going off the rails for a while."

"Did Nathan come back?"

"Yes, it was the Christmas before the summer that I met Ian. Nathan asked to see the child that I had mothered, he said that he had realised his own stupidity and wanted to make amends that he was going to start now. Then I told him, at first he didn't believe me, accused me of all manor of things however, finally after a long while he accepted the fact that I had killed our child." Severus paused but didn't allow Harry to say anything, he just sat enjoying the touch his lover had provided.

"So he tried to get back together with me, a month or so before hand and I would have jumped at the chance but then I realised that I didn't need him, I didn't want to be sent back to that dark place where I had resided for far too long now. I told him no, told him that he had broken my heart for the last time and that if it broke again then I wouldn't survive, however it seemed that he felt the same, he killed himself that very night."

"That wasn't your fault Severus, you do know that right?"

"I do now, but it took me two long years to do so, at the time I was near suicidal again, however with Dumbledore's help I survived, my heart hardening ever more with time and then I met Ian.

"He was a student teacher, a few years younger than myself but the age gap was not as great as it is between the two of us. After about a month I could tell that he loved me but I knew that I did not love him, I wasn't meant to be with him forever however Ian did not think along the same lines that I did. He told me that he had conceived our child and I was infuriated, in him I saw the child that I had killed to please the person I had loved, and I hated him."

"So when I told you, did you hate me?"

"For a short time, yes, I think that I did, however ever since the first day that I had laid eyes upon you I had noticed that there was something about you that I could never figure out.

"When you knocked on my door the summer of your graduation, begging for refuge I gave it to you, not because I pitied you but because you deserved it, I truly believed that that was my only motive for stepping aside and letting you in that day. However there is one thing that I do not understand, why it was me that you came to and not your friends or Dumbledore?"

"Because if I had gone to Ron or Hermione, even Dumbledore then they would have revealed my presence there, one way or another I would not have gained the solitude that I craved and needed, the one person that I knew I could trust, knew would never betray me for any price was you, although I was doubtful at first to whether you would let me in. I did convince myself, like you did, that that was my only motive for going to you, the truth was that I admired you and had a crush on you."

"So do you understand now, why I did what I did, why I treated you so badly?"

"That isn't an excuse Severus, just because you have a past, granted not a very pleasing one but it still isn't an excuse however I know that I love you and I want you be here to help raise our daughter however I can't do it knowing that you might leave at any moment."

"In all fairness I didn't leave the second time, you kicked me out."

"Because for one you wanted to go off and fight and secondly you said you didn't want to be lumbered with my daughter, she isn't a chore Severus; she is a blessing, a joy."

"I completely agree with you on the latter and she will be loved and now coming back to the war, which is something that we need to discuss."

"I completely agree with you, I need you to realise that I must end this, it is something that I just have to do. I met your son today, Ian as well, they are both so happy, Ian is now married to Neville of all people and Jonathan now has two sisters, Jessica and I think its Sarah, they are a perfect family."

"I am glad that my foolish mistake did not make him like me, I would never have forgiven myself if it had, a part of me regrets doing what I did to Ian as it meant that I never knew Jonathan however it also meant that you and I were able to get together and conceive Kayla."

"But none of that matters any more does it, I need to know what you intend to do now, I mean do I make room for you in our home or do I get on with my life and forget about you, tell Kayla that you were a one night stand that meant nothing?"

"You would lie to her in such a manor, tell her that I was no one to you, a short one night fling that you didn't care for, when it is evident that your love runs deeper than even you want to admit?"

"Yes, I would lie to her to save her from the pain that I have had to go through, the pain that you put me through, I won't allow you to do the same for her, I am her mother however ridiculous that sounds and I want to protect her, even from you."

"I won't hurt you or Kayla again Harry, I promise you that much, in fact while I was away from you I did a lot of thinking and I want to ask you something."

"And what was that Severus?"

"I don't ever want to be without you, the short time that we spent apart told me that much and showed me just how much that you mean to me. It made me realise how much you and Kayla mean to me. So this was my realisation when I was at Hogwarts, that I never want to live without you so I want you to marry me."

"Excuse me?"

"Will you marry me?"

"Severus, I don't think you quite understand exactly what you are asking of me here, I'm about to go off and fight a war and leave you with our daughter and you want me to marry you."

"Yes, that is exactly what I am asking you to do."

"Severus, I love you, I really do but do you honestly think that getting married is the right answer I mean we're always arguing right now, do you really think that it's wise that your asking me to marry you?"

"Would I really be asking if I didn't think that it was wise?"

"I don't know, all I know is that I want to be with you forever, I want to be married to you, so our daughter can be brought up in a secure environment."

"I do love you Severus and this is what I always wanted for us, although I never thought we would actually get to this point, I want the best for our daughter but I can't help but think that this is all moving a little fast for us."

"Fast? Harry, if this is what you want and what I want why do you even have to consider the answer, you have just said yourself that you want to get married why are you rejecting me?"

"I'm not rejecting you Severus, not completely I just don't know what to say, this was not what I expected from you, I'm in shock."

"I'll give you all the time and space that you need Harry I want you to make the right choice as it is one that changes everything, I do hope that I get a positive answer but it is your answer to give and not mine to dictate."

"Thank you Severus, could you give me a week to think about this, if you can do that then I will have an answer to give you I swear but I need that time to figure out what I am going to say. There is so much that needs to be considered, Kayla, Voldemort, everything needs to be thought through and I can't do that with you sitting right there in front of me."

"I understand Harry, I will come back and see you in a week, I promise, if you need me before then I will be at Hogwarts, teaching as always."

"Can you tell me that you love me?" Severus gave Harry a strange look as he stood up but those deep green eyes shone with so much emotion that he couldn't help but respond to the boy. "Please Severus, I need to hear you say it."

"Harry James Potter, you are the one thing in my life that makes me complete, I love you and that is never going to change."

A week later and Harry had made up his mind, he knew what answer that he was going to give Severus. Kayla was going through a growth spurt as Poppy had predicted and as each day passed Harry's waist line seemed to expand that little bit extra.

Tomorrow was the day that Severus was due to come round and see Harry however the younger wizard wasn't known for his patients and waiting an entire day was just not on his list of things that he wanted to do, so instead he had formed a plan in his mind.

He had booked a seat on the knight bus and was all prepared to go up to see Severus at Hogwarts, he liked the plan that he had thought up, although he wasn't exactly sure how it was going to work, he had to catch Severus coming out of his classroom just after the lesson had finished.

It was at ten o'clock in the afternoon when Harry boarded the Knight bus and greeted Stan and Ernie who seemed as cheerful as ever, they even complimented Harry on how well he looked, they did cast a glance towards his stomach that could no longer be concealed beneath a baggy jacket or tee.

Harry chose to ignore this and brush it off with a simple, 'you know whenever I get the urge to exercise I just lie down until it goes away.' At which both Stan and Ernie laughed but continued to eye his very pregnant belly.

Harry was thankful to disembark at the gates of Hogwarts, a sight that as a young boy of eleven and twelve had held so much hope for him and now almost had a feeling of foreboding attached to them.

Inside that building the most irritating man alive was sitting, most likely eating lemon drops, a man who would have him battle Voldemort at all costs, even at the cost of losing his unborn daughter, a price that for Harry was too high to pay.

Besides, now that he had decided to fight the fight he had been born to play a part in Dumbledore had got his way, although he wouldn't like the conditions that went with him getting his way.

Harry strolled purposefully up the winding path to the great oak doors that he slipped through, being only half past ten in the morning all the students were thankfully in class; even Dumbledore had not foreseen his coming and was not awaiting his arrival in the entrance hall as he normally would have done.

Without being noticed Harry slipped down into the dungeons and walked down the stone corridor, his heels clicking as he took each step, the sound echoing of the bare stone walls. That was something that he had always hated about the dungeons of Hogwarts, the lack of portraits that made the place look even more damp and depressing than it actually was.

Harry reached the door to Severus' classroom and stopped there and listened to his lover teach his class. He waited and listened for the entire hour, he did so love to listen to his voice as he spoke.

As the bell rang and students began to file out Harry slipped inside and stood at the back of the classroom unnoticed by Severus who was cleaning up some of the left over potion ingredients.

Harry just watched him work, as those slim fingers caressed his wand while he enchanted bottles to return to the cupboard that they belonged in. After a few moments of this Harry cleared his throat and Severus looked up.

"Harry, what on earth are you doing here?"

"I thought you deserved an answer but I wanted to give it to you in the place where we had our very first conversation, because if we're honest the great hall where we first laid eyes upon each other didn't seem very personal."

"Well if I recall our first conversation it wasn't exactly pleasant, or in fact civil."

"No, it wasn't but this place has slightly more meaning and it's slightly more personal." Harry said prolonging the moment that he would have to speak.

"As much as I enjoy our playful banter and our niceties the wait is killing me, what have you decided Harry?"

The Gryffindor took a deep breath and sat down on one of the vacated stools, Severus took a seat right in front of Harry and they joined hands.

"Severus I love you dearly, if I had never met you I would have forever been incomplete and I hope that our daughter is only the first and certainly not the last of our children to come into this world, however I am excepting your proposal on the condition that you let me fight the war I was supposed to fight and that you are the one who must stay behind and take care of Kayla while I do this and that you are the one that must take care of her if anything should happen to me."

"Those conditions are hard to except but I suppose that I must if I am ever to receive your love, I just dislike the thought of you going off to fight Voldemort, I don't think that I could lose another loved one."

"But you will have Kayla, she is a part of me and a part of you, you will always have her and besides you should have a little more faith in your husband to be, do you really think that I'm going to go off and fight Voldemort if I didn't think that I would be able to come back to you?"

"But that's the thing Harry, for nineteen years now the bond between you and Voldemort has grown and developed, what if breaking it kills you?"

"I'm not going to kill him Severus I have a plan and I need your help to do it and not to mention Dumbledore, even though I hate to admit it I will need his help."

"What is your plan?"

"I will tell you but first I want you to ask me again."

"Ask … oh" Realisation dawned upon Severus and he got down on one knee, something he knew to be the traditional muggle way of proposing and asked: "Harry James Potter, will you do me the honour of accepting my proposal of marriage?"

"There is nothing in the world that I would more Severus … what is your middle name?" Harry asked suddenly realising that he didn't actually know what Severus' middle name was.

"Oh, it's Alexander."

"Severus Alexander Snape, I like it."

"I must ask one favour of you though Harry."

"Anything Severus, what is it?"

"I don't wish our daughter to share my name, the Snape line must end with me, it's Kayla Sophia Potter, I refuse to curse any child with the name of my ancestors, the respect we once had is long since gone, however the name of Potter holds so much respect of the wizarding world."

"Are you sure that that is what you want because I don't want you to think that she is more my daughter than yours."

"Never would I think that, but it is my wish that she does not have the name of my forefathers, I want to give her the best chance in life possible."

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Okay, another chapter out, I hope you liked this, please don't forget to leave a review, it keeps me writing! 


	11. Chapter 11

Walk away and I stumble

Once again I'm moving the story along again.

Chapter eleven

Two weeks later and Harry was seventeen weeks into his pregnancy, he was suffering from a little itchy and flaking skin but apart from that he was peachy.

He had moved back into Hogwarts so that he could be close to Poppy, the cottage was purely for Harry and Kayla after she was born, it seemed silly for the three of them to live in such a large house as Snape Manor so Severus had agreed to sell it and move in to the cottage until it became too small for them to inhabit.

Poppy was now insisting upon weekly ultrasounds to make sure that Kayla was doing alright, Severus accompanied Harry to each and every single one without fail, happy to be apart of Harry and his daughters life.

Dumbledore had been spoken to about the terms and conditions of Harry fighting in the war and the headmaster had reluctantly agreed to them all.

Harry would under no circumstances fight until two weeks after Kayla was born, nor would he make any public appearances or do any radio, newspaper or television interviews so that the rest of the wizarding world could gawp at him. He was not to be harassed or bothered by anyone unless Harry himself had specifically asked to see them and that included Ron and Hermione.

The following week and Harry was officially halfway through his pregnancy, Kayla was moving about frequently now however she didn't seem to trust Severus and whenever his hand was placed upon Harry's belly she stopped moving.

"What if she really hates me, baby's know if they're wanted or not, they have this creepy sense that can tell if they were wanted or not."

"Kayla doesn't hate you Severus, you're her father you silly twat, it's normal for you not to have felt her, I'm sure."

"I'm positive that she hates me, who wouldn't?"

"I wouldn't, now will you stop saying such silly things." Harry said as he sat rubbing his stomach in a soothing fashion.

He had begun to get stretch marks on his belly; Severus had been rubbing olive oil on his expanding waistline and it seemed to be helping a little.

The following week and Harry was feeling slightly more stable and comfortable as his rounded stomach became slightly more familiar to him. The rapid growth had begun to slow down a little and Harry loved to listen to his daughter's heartbeat whenever he got the chance.

Severus was treating his fiancé to everything that he could ever have wanted, fancy dinners out, weekends away shopping and even luxurious wedding plans. However what troubled Severus about the wedding plans was that they were for a month and a half after Kayla was born. This meant that only if Harry returned to him alive would they wed, however Harry refused to walk down the isle 'as fat as a beached whale' or so Harry said.

In the twentieth week of the pregnancy and Harry was still rapidly gaining weight, the continuous weight gain had finally taken it's toll on his back, it was aching like crazy and there was nothing that he could do about it but to either sit or lie down. However he could not sit or stand for long and when he did sit down he had to sit with his knees above his hips.

Harry had planned the wedding details to a tee, in fact Severus had even helped and the two of them had compromised and discussed everything rational, they had even agreed on most things.

It was quite surprising that two characters with such opposite personalities could agree on anything, however it was mainly Severus agreeing with a hormonal Harry, who insisted upon white roses and lilies when Severus wasn't sure that he even wanted flowers.

However what Harry wanted Harry got, but on the other hand Severus had got his way when it came to the guest list, he had made Harry agree to a small private wedding and surprisingly it hadn't been that hard to make Harry agree to this.

They had narrowed the list down to Ron, Hermione and children, the teachers of Hogwarts, Dumbledore to conduct the ceremony if he were still alive. It was of course a morbid thought wondering who would be dead and who alive by the time it came to their wedding but it was realistic.

A week later and the kicks, jabs, flips and flops that Harry had been feeling became more frequent and he had become determined to have Severus feel these also. Harry had also been experiencing more and more mood swings, Severus was trying his best to cope with the moody wizard, he knew that he didn't have much of a choice.

It was one evening, quite late just before Harry and Severus were about to go to bed when the Gryffindor stood up and began to stretch, Severus noticing that Harry was presumably getting ready to go off to bed did the same.

First though he pulled Harry towards him so the younger wizards expanded waist line was touching his stomach and Severus captured Harry's lips in a sweet kiss.

"Oh Merlin!" Severus exclaimed.

"What is it?" Harry asked concerned.

"She kicked, I felt her kick" Severus said happily.

"Welcome to my world, she kicks me constantly."

"But I have never felt it before."

"I told you she didn't hate you, so, do you believe me now?"

"How could I not, now let us celebrate this?" Severus said in a suggestive tone before leading Harry into the bedroom and lying him down upon the bed.

He lay next to his young fiancé and began to ravish his mouth, then made his way down to his pregnant belly and kissed that too. Severus then moved even further down and removed the boxers that had been the only thing that had covered him.

Severus took Harry's waiting erection into his mouth causing Harry to moan in satisfaction at the sensation of Severus' talented tongue.

It had been so long since Harry and Severus had shared anything that could be considered remotely sexual apart of course from kissing so it wasn't long until Harry came in the potion master's mouth.

Harry's abdomen tingled with the sensation that the orgasm had triggered, Severus lay on his side next to Harry and stroked his ebony hair, a hand rested upon the large bump that was Kayla.

"You are the world to me Harry, have I told you that today?"

"Not today, but you just did."

Twenty two weeks into Harry's pregnancy and Severus had become obsessed with a muggle camera and didn't stop taking pictures with it and Harry absolutely hated it.

Although Severus insisted that he would be thankful later, however most of the pictures were off Harry with arms crossed and tongue stuck out. There were a couple of nice ones in the mix. Severus had already put a fair few into an album, at the very front of which was a picture of the two of them snuggled up on the sofa together. Under it was written, Papa and Daddy.

It was purely for Kayla of course, a baby album for her to look over when she was older, a perfect gift if Severus did say so himself. Harry of course loved the idea and wondered out loud whether Lily and James had kept one for him.

Severus didn't doubt that they had but he knew most of their processions had been burnt or sold off, the baby album no doubt would have been destroyed years ago, that or the cunning old man otherwise known as Albus Dumbledore had it stashed away somewhere.

He vowed that he would find out and if he could attain it then he would give it to Harry as a gift for reaching his third trimester of the pregnancy without any problems.

The young Gryffindor reached his twenty third week without hiccups and then his twenty fourth however when the twenty fifth week arrived Severus found himself being shaken awake by a frantic Harry at two in the morning.

"Harry, calm down, what is it, are you in labour?" Severus asked panicked sitting up straight in bed and trying to calm his lover down a little.

"I have to have cheese and onion crisps smothered in chocolate NOW!" Harry said almost shouting this demand at his husband to be.

"Huh?" Severus asked confused, apparently he had been woken at some ungodly hour of the morning so he could fetch his fiancé a snack, at first he thought that he was dreaming until Harry repeated this instruction.

"If you don't get me some now then you'll force me to get up and get it myself and you don't want me wandering around a freezing cold castle in bare feet and boxers."

"Then put your slippers on and a dressing gown."

"SEVERUS!" Harry whined, "I want you to get it for me."

"Harry, it's five past two in the morning, I have class to teach in seven hours, please just go back to sleep that or call a house elf."

"But it won't be the same if a house elf makes it, I want you to make it for me." Harry said in a baby voice before getting angry again and shaking Severus as the older man had gone back to sleep.

"Fine, I'll go and get your sodding snack." Severus grumbled rolling himself out of bed, he shoved his feet into his slippers and arms into his dressing gown before hurrying off to fetch Harry his rather peculiar snack.

Harry however being almost in his third trimester and of course being very tired he had fallen back asleep again by the time that Severus had returned. He stood in the doorway staring at the sleeping form of his love, at first he was annoyed but that soon melted away at the innocent expression etched upon the Gryffindor's face.

Harry sent the bowl back down to the kitchens with a wave of his wand, slid out of his slippers, shrugged off his dressing gown and crawled back into bed, his arms encircling the waist of his fiancé.

In the twenty sixth week Harry's cravings had become stranger still but Severus, after getting used to be woken up and strange food combinations demanded from him now saw the funny side to it all.

It was a Tuesday evening when Harry was sitting in front of the fire reading to Kayla when Severus came in, a nicely wrapped package in one hand. He kissed Harry on the cheek and placed the package on his lap atop of the book.

"What's this?" Harry asked smiling up at his lover.

"Open it and see, its congratulations for reaching your third trimester present."

Harry ripped opened the paper and marvelled at what was inside. "Where did you find this?" He asked opening the first page and smiling fondly at the picture that he saw.

"Albus had it stashed away, I thought that he might have done, do you like it?"

"I love it, I have the perfect idea, where is Kayla's baby book?" Severus fetched it and handed it to Harry who gave a nod of thanks. He moved the picture of Lilly and James from his own baby book and into Kayla's. Under it he wrote, grandma and granddad.

"That's a sweet idea; she must know her true family."

"She must know your family too."

"No Harry, she must not, they were dark, evil wizards, we must distance her from them, our daughter has the potential to be more powerful than Voldemort himself, if she were to turn dark then there would be nothing stopping her, she must be good, she must take after you."

"I don't understand why you think so badly of yourself, it isn't as if you are a bad person, fair enough she will not have the name of Snape but right there on her birth certificate, where you write the name of the father will be your name, Severus Alexander Snape, she is a part of you."

"Sometimes I wonder if us being together was for the best, sure we both want this but what are we truly going to gain, our daughter will take one look at our dysfunctional relationship and regret being born into this family."

"Our relationship is only dysfunctional because you make it so Severus, we are going to get married and I think from this moment onwards there should be a pact between the two of us."

"What sort of pact?"

"That whatever issues arise we will not go to bed with them unsolved, there will be no storming off, there will instead be cool off periods and then rational discussion, do you agree?"

"Why is it that even when hormonal and emotional you can still level out yourself out enough to keep our relationship in working order."

Harry shrugged, "I guess I'm just desperate for us to work, now do you agree, yes or no?"

"I think that it is a good suggest and yes, I agree to it."

"See I'm not just a pretty face."

Harry had now reached the twenty seventh week of his pregnancy and it had really begun to get to him, the itchy skin, leg cramps, shortness of breath, indigestion, heartburn and aching muscles were driving him close to insanity.

He felt as if he had been pregnant for years rather than months, however Harry had to remember that all of this was only temporary, Severus constantly reminded him to focus on the positive aspects of the pregnancy, like in a few short months the baby would be here, however all it did was annoy Harry even further.

Poppy had talked to Harry only last week about his birth plans for Kayla, Harry had decided against a water birth and even a natural birth, he wanted to go to the Hospital Wing and be given lots of potions and spells to make it easier for him.

Severus wasn't exactly sure that he wanted Harry pumped full of potions at the time of his daughters birth however it wasn't exactly his choice; it was purely Harry's and Harry's alone. So to avoid all arguments Severus said nothing, he tried to avoid all arguments, he hated it when they fought.

What Severus had agreed was that he would be the one to make the potions that Harry took, what with the Dark Lord back and everything they didn't want to risk the potions being switched or altered without them knowing.

The birth was going to go off without a hitch, Severus was determined that that would be the case, more fool any one that try to do otherwise and Severus would skin them alive. He had become overly protective of Harry now, he wouldn't let him leave the safety of their chambers for any reason but for meals and even then Severus would escort him.

Voldemort wasn't exactly in their faces at present moment but he wasn't exactly hiding away either, muggles were dying all over the place and yet Dumbledore was doing pretty much nothing to stop them, Harry was sure that this was some sort of guilt trip on the headmasters part but he really couldn't care.

By doing nothing and allowing these muggles to die he was sending a very clear message, that Voldemort was coming and it wasn't likely that he was going to be considerate enough to wait until Harry had given birth, not that he knew, no one outside of the castle did.

Of course Harry had wanted to shout to the world that he was pregnant however he knew that that was not the best course of action to take considering there was a group of men that would see this as weakness and try to kill both him and Kayla.

This could not be tolerated so only those inside the castle (not the students however, they were all under a spell to make them forget what they had seen) knew that Harry was with child and that was where it had to stay.

By the time that Harry had reached the twenty eight week of his pregnancy he had become slightly more used to it and had even discovered the most comfortable position to sleep in was in fact on his left side with of course Severus cuddling him from behind, any other way and he just wouldn't get any sleep at all.

However sometimes even then sleep became problematic, Severus saw this as just rewards for all those nights that he had had to drag himself out of bed and all the way down to the kitchen for all of Harry's weird cravings.

Usually Harry found solace in his new recliner chair that he had conjured, however Snape always seemed to become grumpy when he woke up in the morning to an empty bed so unless it got really bad then Harry would remain in bed and what made it really bad was the heartburn, if that erupted then there was no other option but the chair and a nice warm blanket.

Poppy had now warned Harry and Severus that since they had only ten weeks of the pregnancy remaining that there was a chance now of premature labour, that it was more common for wizards to only last seven or eight months rather than the full nine that it is for women.

Both parents to be had immediately began to worry until Poppy had reassured them that it was quite normal and that the baby would not be affected by premature labour. Secretly Severus prayed that Harry was pregnant a little longer as it meant they had more time, the younger wizard was determined that after two weeks he was to wage a war with Voldemort, and that terrified Severus even though he would never admit it.

* * *

I hope you liked this chapter, sorry for fast forwarding the story but it seemed necessary as I didn't want it to drag on so much that my faithful readers were bored but don't worry, the next chapter will be slower and I have to say I think you'll enjoy it. Don't forget to leave a review and HAPPY NEW YEAR when it comes. 


	12. Chapter 12

Walk away and I stumble

Chapter twelve

Harry was thirty four weeks pregnant and that meant that there was only half of a week left until he reached the nine month mark, Poppy had begun to get slightly concerned that Kayla was going to be one of those difficult baby's that didn't want to come out.

However when Poppy came to visit them she couldn't help but smile at Harry who was having an early sign of labour called the ''Nesting Urge' which meant that he was cleaning absolutely everything in sight. Of course this was nothing official but in most cases that Poppy had come across this was a very good sign.

Severus seemed delighted at this new side of Harry and was overjoyed at the fact that his normally slob like fiancé was actually cleaning up after himself and tidying their rooms with exaggeration.

Poppy said nothing; she enjoyed watching the two of them continue their banter too much to do a thing like that, both Harry and Severus seemed to be getting on alright up until now, the younger wizard's huge stomach was getting in the way a little bit but that didn't seem to matter, Harry was still as quick on his feet as ever which greatly worried Severus who thought that he should slow down a little bit.

Poppy knew however that the turning point in their relationship was going to be the birth of Kayla, if Severus lost all of his courage and ran then that was it, Harry would never forgive him, but it was something that she had no control over. It was Snape's choice, and she would bet her life that both wizards knew this fact was very real and approaching at a fast pace.

Severus had been sent to check on everything at the cottage to make sure that was already and also to by another crib to be placed in their rooms at Hogwarts for the duration of Harry and Kayla's stay there.

Dumbledore had been to visit them a couple of times now as well, to see how the pregnancy was progressing and even to apologise for his past behaviour when it came to their daughter who he had come to realise was very precious to the two of them.

Ron and Hermione had even found the time to drop by and say hello, the lost contact had not been intentional but almost necessary, their friendship had been tested a lot and it had been proven that it just wasn't going to last, especially after Ron and Hermione had coupled and then multiplied.

The two of them now had two children with two more on the way, they brought Cana, their two year old daughter and Brent their ten month old baby with them when they came to see their old friend. Hermione was barely showing with the twins as of yet, they had only just found out but they seemed happy about it.

The golden trio seemed to talk for hours although they did steer clear of topics of discussion that was likely to cause an eruption of emotion, thinks like Severus and Voldemort. Harry casually mentioned that their was going to be a wedding after Kayla was born but said nothing further, partly due to the look of utter disgust on Ron's face and partly because they were not actually invited.

"So have you thought up a name for your baby yet Harry?" Hermione asked, Harry had completely forgotten that he hadn't told his friends that they had planned this out months ago.

"Oh yes, her name is Kayla Sophia Potter."

"Such a pretty name, but does Severus not wish his surname to be added on to the end?" Hermione asked conversationally when really she was being nosey.

"We made a mutual decision that it wouldn't be necessary for her to be a Snape, although it was considered by us for a while." Harry said, feeling very much as if he was answering an interviewer rather than two old school friends.

"You must be so happy right now, a daughter on the way a husband who, erm, loves you and I assume that you have somewhere other than Hogwarts to live."

"Oh yes, we have a number of properties, there is a cottage all ready for us to move into when Kayla is born and if we decide to expand our family more we can move into Snape Manor, that has plenty of space, how about you guys?"

"Ronald works in the ministry in the magical games and sports department and between children I am training to become a medi-witch."

"Wow, congratulations, does it pay well?" Harry asked very much wanting to rub it in how well off he was whereas they were struggling.

"It isn't bad pay, we survive, we own a nice little house in a muggle village, we aren't as well of as you Harry but we aren't poor."

"You certainly seem happy enough, that is the main thing I guess." Harry said smiling, however it was then that Ron, who had not spoken for most of the duration of their reunion, ruined everything.

The small amount of tension that had filled the room since Ron and Hermione's arrival seemed to triple as Ron said, "We'd be much happier of you'd hurry up and destroy Voldemort."

He received a sharp elbow in the ribs from Hermione and a glare from Harry before he spoke, "What do you suggest Ron, that I waddle out, baby and all and challenge Voldemort to a duel, would you ask Hermione to do such a thing if she were in my position." Neither said anything, "No, I did not think so, your problem Ron is that you don't really care about me and more, to you I'm expendable as id my daughter."

"I resent that, I never said …"

"But it was implied, I think the three of us have been friends long enough for me to know that much, I'm not an idiot Ronald." Harry said, "It wasn't my choice to get pregnant but I am so glad that I did because now I have a fiancé who I love, a daughter who is due to be born any day now and I have more of a life than you can ever dream of having."

"So you won't do what the wizarding world expects of you, how selfish can you be?"

"Selfish? How can I ever be described as selfish, I never asked for any of this I never wanted to be the boy who lived and once you knew that, you understood me, a lot has evidently changed because instead of you begging me not to endanger myself your practically pushing me out the door wand in hand and saying 'Voldemort that way!'"

"You know full well that I don't want you hurt and that I would never intentionally hurt you or your daughter, even if she is Snape's."

"I don't care why you still have a problem with Severus, Ron, I just hoped you would have got over this childish hatred of him, so what if he didn't like us as his students, he loves me now as his husband to be."

"I can't believe this Harry, you disappear with him for a year and now you're a changed man, I don't know you, you're not the Harry that was my best friend."

"I'm sorry Ron but I grew up, this is who I was supposed to be and you, you can't even see past the conceited views from childhood, I thought that you would possibly grow up when you married Hermione, but your still the same close minded idiot you've always been, I just hope your children have her brains."

"How dare you!" Ron growled, Hermione also seemed to be thinking something along the same lines, however she didn't express her anger in words, instead she slapped him.

"You don't deserve the respect and admiration that you get Harry, you don't deserve your title and your bastard daughter will forever suffer because of who her parents are, she's going to wish that you'd had her terminated before when was born."

"Get the hell out of my home!" Harry yelled.

"No, you need to hear this, you are here on this earth for one purpose and one purpose only and that is to kill Voldemort, your destiny is to die and take him with you, not to have children, that abomination growing inside of you has no right to be born!" Hermione shouted losing her temper completely.

"At least I can provide for my children, at least I'm not in a dead end job with barely any money coming in, once a Weasley always a Weasley, I hope you both rot in hell."

"Drop dead!" Ron bellowed, "Hermione's right, you're a disgrace, why don't you just go and do what here for so we can be rid of you."

Severus, who had heard the shouting from his class room had immediately rushed to see what the matter was halting the teaching process. He had set odd at full speed towards his rooms where the shouts were as clear as day.

He burst in and saw that Ron and Hermione had ganged up on Harry who was close to tears, two children were sat on the sofa watching the argument escalate.

"I want you both out, NOW!" Severus bellowed, "You had no right to come here today and upset Harry, if I ever and I mean _ever _see you anywhere me or mine again I will gladly serve a life time in Azkaban for what I will do to you and your brats."

Ron and Hermione stalked off in a huff taking their children with them, as soon as they had gone Harry broke down into noisy sobs falling limply into Severus' arms.

"It's okay Harry, it's alright, they're gone."

"They said the most hurtful things about Kayla and about me."

"You don't have to worry about them anymore, they aren't coming back, I can promise you that much at least, they won't be allowed near you again."

"Thank you Severus, thank you for dealing with them but I have one more favour to ask of you."

"What is it, I'll do anything."

"Take me up to the hospital wing, I've been having contractions for the past two and a half hours and I think my waters may have just broken."

At first Severus just froze, taking in what had been said, it was Harry's damp trousers that seemed to snap him out of it in the end, he came to his senses and picked Harry up bridal style.

He was going to murder Weasley and Granger, they must have known that stress was not exactly healthy for people as pregnant as Harry was currently, it was as Severus ran with Harry in his arms that the realisation hit him.

In a few hours time he would be father!

He burst into the infirmary so abruptly that Poppy almost had a heart attack from the shock, "Oh my goodness!" The medi-witch exclaimed at the sight which met her eyes.

Severus lay Harry down on the closest bed while Poppy abandoned the student who had sprouted whiskers and rushed over to help.

"How long has been in labour?" She asked casting cleansing charms all around and summoning various other instruments such as pillows and a crib, not to mention blankets. She transfigured Harry's outfit into a white hospital gown and tried to relax Harry.

"He said two and a half hours." Severus said anxiously as Poppy got out her gel like potion and smeared it on, "What are you doing?"

"There was a slight complication I noticed earlier, I am checking to see whether or not it has corrected itself." Poppy replied, not really noticing or caring about the identical concerned looks on the expecting parents faces.

"What do you mean complication?" Harry asked, "And why were we not informed any sooner?"

"Because in most cases it is unnecessary to worry the carrier of the child as the problem will occasionally correct itself however in your case it has not."

"Please say Kayla is going to be okay" Harry begged although he didn't know what use it would do, it did however make him feel a little better.

"Oh your daughter will be fine Harry; however the umbilical cord that links Kayla to you is currently wrapped around her neck so unfortunately we will have to perform a c-section on you so we can remove the baby safely."

"You're going to cut me open?" Harry said slightly panicked.

"I am afraid that I have no choice, if you try to have a natural birth then Kayla will most likely not make it, she will suffocate before she even leaves your body and we don't want that do we?"

Harry shook his head, he flung his hand out and found Severus' and gripped it hard, "Stay with me, please Sev, don't make me go through this alone."

Severus cast Poppy a questioning glance, she nodded, "That is fine but you will have to help me and if you get in my way then you will be kicked out at once."

Severus nodded his understanding and began to gather and pass Poppy the potions that she needed, all the ones that he had brewed himself ready for this moment.

"Oh dear Merlin!" Harry screamed as another contraction hit him, he threw his head back in agony and for a moment Severus' mind drifted back to when he could make Harry throw his head back in ecstasy, he promised himself then that he would do that again if it was the last thing that he did.

"It's okay Harry, here drink this" Poppy said force feeding Harry a vile green coloured potion before erecting a screen at the point where Harry's huge stomach started to expand so that the pregnant wizard couldn't see what was going on.

"FUCK FUCK FUCK!" Harry screamed moments later as another contraction hit him, now Harry had always wanted a big family but this was ridiculous, he never wanted to go through this hell again. "Severus if you so much with look at me with lust in your eyes again you won't have any testicles left, is that understood?" Harry growled.

Severus gulped and looked to Poppy in a panic stricken way; he was not used to his sweet and not so innocent Harry making sure comments and threats to him at least.

"Most partners prefer to wait until after the birthing process to see their loved one and I wouldn't stand so close, one patient of mine grabbed her partner's testicles, they were both in hospital that night." Severus at once took a very large step backwards out of reach of Harry's arms.

Severus watched as Poppy made the careful skin incision horizontally across Harry's stomach, "Prepare yourself Severus, your daughter is about to make her first appearance in the world." Poppy warned as she began to pull the baby free of Harry's body.

Small cries were heard as Kayla entered the world, she was briefly shown to Harry before taken to be towelled off, foot printed, weighed, measured, tagged and wrapped in a pink blanket and hat to keep her warm by Severus of all people while Poppy healed him.

"Congratulations Harry you have a healthy baby girl, would you like to hold her for a little while?" Harry nodded, it was about all he could manage, the argument with Ron and Hermione seemed like a dim and distant daydream already.

Severus placed the little bundle in Harry's arms, he smiled down at her, stroking her perfect cheeks, "Hello there Kayla, you're a very pretty little girl aren't you, yes you are." Harry said cooing at her.

"I think Harry that is time that you got some rest, but don't worry she will still be here when you awake, I am sure Severus will watch over her for you."

Harry passed his daughter to Severus who placed her lovingly into her hospital crib, he then sat beside Harry, stroking his raven hair until the young boy allowed his exhaustion to take him.

When he awoke Kayla was sleeping in her crib still and Severus was curled up in an arm chair fast asleep, as soon as Poppy noticed that he had woken she bustled over with a couple of potions.

"Here, this will help with the pain" She said handing Harry a yellowish coloured potion which he drank, "And this will help you get some of your energy back," She handed him another potion, this one red in colour. "Now I imagine that you might have difficulty walking so in a few hours we'll see how you get on with that, would you like to hold your daughter?"

"I would love to" Harry replied, Poppy picked up Kayla and handed her to Harry, and then gave him a bottle to feed her with.

"Support her head like that, there you go." Harry did as he was told and pressed the bottle lightly to her lips, she took it eagerly and began to feed. "Now you'll need to feed her every hour or so, you will learn to depict one cry from another, she will sleep on average about sixteen to eighteen hours a day and you will need to change her at least eight, maybe ten times a day. Bathing isn't necessary to do daily until she starts being extremely messy, weekly should be enough until then. I know this is a lot to take in and if you have any questions don't be afraid to ask me okay and one more thing, to be comfortable she will need to be wearing one more layer than you need to keep warm okay."

"Right, I think I got all of that, she's so adorable isn't she?"

"She certainly is a Potter; I can say that much I believe she is going to have your eyes." Poppy said smiling at them; she then noticed that Severus was beginning to stir from his sleep. "I'll leave you two alone."

Harry looked over and saw onyx orbs watching him, Severus stood up, stretched and then sat at the edge of the bed where he could look over at Harry and Kayla.

"She's beautiful" Severus commented, "Just like her mother."

"Hey, I resent that, just because I gave birth to her does not mean that I am a mother, that makes me sound like a girl."

"And you most certainly not one of them."

"Thank Merlin for that," Harry said in relief, they both laughed. Kayla finished her bottle and Harry burped her before rocking her gently in his arms until she went back off to sleep.

This was the moment that Severus had been dreading for so long now, his time with Harry was numbered, within the next few days he would begin to train himself and then in only a couple of weeks he would leave them, possibly forever.

The only thing that he had left to have faith in was Kayla and the bond she and Harry would share, if he could not leave her then he would be safe but that was a very slim chance as Harry was determined to do what he had been born to do and destroy Voldemort.

However it was at that moment as Severus sat beside Harry, holding him close and watching as their daughter slept soundly in his fiancés arms that a thought stuck him. Why Harry? No one had ever figured out the answer to that question, yes they knew why Voldemort had chosen him in the first place but no one had ever asked why it had to be him to kill Voldemort in the end.

As he thought this through a plan formed in his mind, an ingenious plan if he did think so himself, however it was one that Harry would never go along with, well, he would just have to solve that problem as well.

* * *

I hope you liked this chapter, I know it wasn't exactly interesting but it had to be done, Kayla had to be born at some point, but now Harry can concentrate on good old Voldie and Severus can work on his plan. Don't forget to leave a review. 


	13. Chapter 13

Walk away and I stumble

Chapter thirteen

After four days of being in the hospital wing Poppy had finally discharged both Harry and Kayla. Severus was all too happy to have them back in their chambers.

While Severus taught his classes Harry would look after Kayla and train for the coming battle, he was working on getting himself fit again, after only a walk to the great hall had tired him out.

He was taking is slowly, he had to, every so often he would stop and feed and/or change Kayla who seemed to be a very well behaved little girl. She hardly ever fussed, obviously taking after Severus when it came to behaviour but Harry when it came to mischief making.

Only the other day she had spelled her pacifier to her and her bottle as Harry had been preparing them for her. Apparently she didn't have much patience either, Severus blamed James for that.

Harry was scared that she was coming into her powers already; he dreaded to think how much power she was going to have once she grew up and learnt how to channel it. He just hoped that he was around to see that time, to help her, to teach her.

That had been plaguing his mind lately, Harry would zone out for minutes at a time wondering about whether or not he was going to be alive to watch Kayla grow up, whether he would be able to live long enough to give her a brother or sister. He didn't know and that scared him, he didn't' dare voice these thoughts to Severus who was evidently worried about it enough.

Harry had heard nothing from Ron or Hermione so it seemed that Severus' threat had been taken literally, they knew he was not one to make idle threats, at least not when it came to protecting Harry.

It was after a long day when Harry had been busy taking care of Kayla and training himself for the final battle between him and Voldemort that the exhausted couple collapsed upon the sofa together. Kayla had just been put down to sleep and Harry was welcoming the peaceful state he found himself in.

"I wish that this moment would last forever, just you and me, nothing else in the world but us, I mean Kayla is perfect in everyway but I miss this, I miss just being you and me, remember all the fun we used to have and the desk?"

"Yes, I remember it clearly; especially the look on Dumbledore's face when you asked for a desk that memory will last forever, you know I never thought that one person could bend as much as you did."

"You did your fair share of flexible positions if I remember correctly and one of them must have been particularly penetrating."

"How so?"

"It resulted in Kayla silly."

"Ah yes, well maybe for a while we should avoid that particular position for a while, at least until Kayla is two."

"It's just a shame that we can't remember that position" Harry said grinning madly, "So how about we go and see if can remember it."

"So soon, aren't you sore?"

"It'll be fine if your gentle with me" Harry said running a hand down the older mans chest towards his groin, "But it's been so long and I'm just dying to be close to you again, to feel you inside of me."

"Alright, on one condition, that we use suitable precautions."

"Since I have no desire to be pregnant so soon after Kayla I'll agree to that."

Harry resumed kissing his fiancé, slowly undoing his shirt buttons to reveal an averagely hairy chest, they were just getting into it when a cry emitted from Kayla's room, interrupting them.

"You go and get comfy, I'll be right through." Harry said as he got off of Severus who he had been straddling. "I'll be right back, okay?"

"Sure, don't be long Har." Severus said as he made his way through to the bedroom while taking off the clothes that Harry hadn't yet managed to remove.

Harry made his way through to Kayla who was crying loudly for her mummy, as Harry fed his daughter he thought of how much had changed, the laughs that they had shared, the positions that they had found themselves in and the silly little fights, between it all he had fallen in love with the man.

There was only one thing about his life that he would change, no prizes for guessing what that was. The thought of the pending battle with Voldemort just wasn't to bear thinking about.

He stayed and watched Kayla until she had fallen back to sleep before he returned to Severus who was awaiting his return eagerly, "What took you so long?" Severus asked him.

"Nothing, Kayla was being fussy after he feed is all" Harry said as he joined his lover on the bed, straddling him.

"If that's your idea of sexy talk I suggest you find a better technique" Severus suggested teasingly.

"Fine, how's this." Harry leant down so that his lips were right next to Severus' ear and began to whisper in Parceltongue.

The reaction from Severus was instantaneous, he was moaning and thrashing about in seconds, he was hard just listening to Harry speak, this was the normal routine with sensual, sweaty, sweet, salacious, scornful, slutty snaky sex that they hadn't had the opportunity to take part in for some time now.

It was as they made love over and over Harry couldn't help but think back to all the times that they had made love previously, he thought of the time that Kayla had been conceived, well, he more wondered which position that they had used.

It was as they lay cuddled up in bed together that Harry began to cry, Severus who was already dozing and practically asleep already didn't notice. Harry was glad about this as he really didn't want to explain why he was crying, especially since it was more tan likely to cause more arguments.

Not once had Severus fed or changed Kayla, he had barely spent anytime with her anymore and he was constantly giving off an air that he knew something that Harry didn't, it was really starting to annoy him by this point, he didn't want to think that Severus was distancing himself.

As carefully and quietly as he could he slipped out of bed, using his wand he summoned quill and parchment to him and then enchanted his clothes and Kayla's to pack themselves as he composed a note.

_Dearest Severus_

_Words cannot describe how deeply in love with you I am but it has recently come to my attention that you do not fulfil the role of father to Kayla even though that is your role in her life. _

_I cannot only think myself anymore, if you truly want me then you must realise that I come with Kayla in tow, you cannot have just me. I am so sorry if you feel that she was the worst thing to happen in our relationship. _

_I have not gone far, do not fret, I will return to Hogwarts every two days for training and if you are willing, and I understand if you are not, you could have Kayla for the day while I train, if not Poppy can take care of her. _

_I will be staying at the cottage for the time being as there are no other places that I can go but for the time being I ask you not to come and look for me as I believe that this time apart will not only strengthen our relationship but if I die it will make it so much easier for you. _

_Recently I have been recalling our relationship before Kayla, how carefree and spontaneous we were, I believe our first time was in the upstairs hallway of Snape Manor and you made some random comment about carpet burn._

_These were good times and will live on in my memory for eternity but unfortunately times have changed, we have brought a beautiful little girl into this word and Voldemort has come to claim my life. _

_It was wishful thinking that I could ever be happy! With all my heart, Harry J Potter. _

With this written and his bags packed Harry went to bundle Kayla up and place her in her basket so that he could carry her. It was late and the castle was deserted but this was only an added bonus.

He knew that leaving Hogwarts and Severus was sudden, almost impulsive but he knew in his heart that it had to be done, he couldn't continue pretending that they were the perfect happy family because it just didn't work that way.

Harry had to face it, Severus was just not the fatherly type.

* * *

Okay, I know it's been a while and this isn't a long chapter but at least it's a chapter right … right … ah smeg it, I've been a very bad author and I'm very, very sorry. I have a long list of excuses but I won't bore you with them, I hope to get another chapter out soon but until then I may post another story. Don't forget to review. xxxxx 


	14. Chapter 14

Walk away and I stumble

Chapter fourteen

Running away was not something that Harry had ever considered himself capable of, murder, surviving curses were all on the list of things he had achieved and yet he still managed to stoop so low as to run away when ever a problem reared it's ugly head.

He and Kayla were happy, well, as happy as they could be without Severus with them, the cottage after all was perfect for them, but Harry got so lonely sitting around by himself when Kayla was asleep.

Severus on the other hand missed both his lover and his daughter greatly, Harry's cowardice was however rather useful, it made his plan so much easier to carry through, tonight was the night that he had to do it.

Before anyone else figured it out, even though he was sure that Dumbledore already had, that old interfering wizard didn't know when to butt out sometimes but that bothered Severus very little currently, he was writing out his will, just in case.

He didn't want to die, he knew it would leave Harry heart broken but at least he would be a live, he would be fit and healthy so that he could raise Kayla, the child that he had always dreamed of having.

As darkness fell over Hogwarts castle Severus prepared himself, thanks to the Dark Mark he knew exactly where he should be looking for the Dark Lord, something that no deatheater, spy or not, would admit to being able to do.

He slipped silently into his black deatheater robes and placed the mask inside his pocket, he doubted that he would need it but it was better to be safe than sorry. Although it had been an extremely tight fit and the legs and arms were overly short for him Severus was also wearing Harry's clothes, this however was out of necessity rather than want.

As each second ticked by Severus' nerves grew stronger, he had to take a calming potion in fear that he would back out at the last minute, something that was not an option. He place the large vial of polyjuice potion into his inner robe pocket, it was perfectly brewed and the hair he needed had already been added.

As it neared the witching hour Severus gathered up all his courage and headed out of his chambers and into the school above, he was both surprised and glad that Dumbledore had not waited there to stop him, it was one less obstacle to hurdle, Albus Dumbledore was a sly man and could easily manipulate him into doing something that he didn't want to do.

Meanwhile Harry was standing over Kayla's crib having just finished her midnight feed, she was perfect in everyway, he loved to watch her sleep, not a sound penetrating the walls to disturb her, this was the solitude that Harry craved but he craved also to share it with Severus.

He had an odd feeling in his heart, and one of foreboding in the pit of his stomach, something was about to happen, he could feel it, he had been connected to Voldemort for too long now, it was a sixth sense that he got.

However there was nothing that he could do but wait until it happened, someone would come to him if they needed help, Dumbledore knew where to find him should the need arise, not that he wanted to be disturbed but he had to do what he had to do.

Severus had apparated into Riddle Manor House, the gloomy and depressing outer walls loomed over him as if daring him to come closer or even to enter, he crept closer knowing that the dark Lord had no doubt already sensed his apparition and knew that he was on his way.

However he wouldn't know that it was him, he couldn't, he may have been great but he wasn't that great. As Severus edged closer he pulled out the vial and downed it before slipping on the mask. He felt his skin start to change and willed himself not to throw up, he looked down at his hands that were reverting back to that of a seventeen year old and pulled on his gloves.

He checked that he had his wand at the ready before entering the house via the back kitchen door, Severus knew from experience that Voldemort resided in the master bedroom upstairs, the fire within no doubt giving off an inviting feel that was to be swiftly crushed upon seeing the monster sitting before you in his comfy chair, that dreaded snake curled up at his feet like a loyal dog.

He felt the polyjuice complete the change, it was time, he had an hour to carry out his plan, it had to be know, if he didn't do it then he would have failed Harry, the one person that despite all their arguments and bickering he did truly love. And his daughter, Kayla, who would doubt be as brilliant as him and as beautiful as her mother, a combination of wit, beauty and smarts that any would admire and envy.

Harry could not take this feeling any more, seeing that he and Kayla were somehow linked the horrid feeling within him was effecting her also, he decided that it was about time to see if everything was alright and that meant going to visit Dumbledore.

He apparated to the gates, winged boars glaring down at him as if accusing him of disturbing the peaceful night and it was that, completely peaceful, not even a gust of wind disturbed the sloping grass leading up to the grand castle.

He had taken a great risk bringing Kayla with him but he had had no other choice, he did not know his neighbours well enough to leave her in their care and he doubted he would ever trust another well enough to do such a thing.

He strolled purposefully up to the great oak doors and slipped inside, everything seemed to be at peace, he could hear a soft murmur coming from the great hall and went to investigate, there he found the headmaster conversing with Minerva, Harry greeted them both with a nod of his head.

"Is there something wrong Harry, the hour is late and I doubt you would see it as a grand idea to take young Kayla for a late night stroll."

"You are right, something is amiss Dumbledore, I can feel it but I cannot place what it is, I beg you not to dismiss it as paranoia or something similar, I have experienced these things for far too long, something is wrong, if you wait here I will go and see if Severus is okay and summon him here."

The headmaster nodded and Harry handed Kayla to him so that he could move with more haste, he may have loved his daughter but he could admit that she did slow him down a touch, something that he could live with because he loved her.

Severus now climbed the stairs that were caked with years of dirt, grime and dust, no one bothered to clean; it was a waste of time although Severus was sure that if the Dark Lord decided on a trip down to the lower levels of his home that the entire place would be cleaned in an instant.

He could hear no sounds of the irritating fool wormtail; he seemed to have abandoned his master for the night, not that he could have done anything to stop him, it just made it so much easier now he wasn't around. So far so good, everything was going his way so far, he just hoped that it would continue to do so.

Harry charged back to the great hall after finding Severus' chambers empty apart from a sealed envelope and a roll of parchment. "He's gone," Harry said as he gasped for breath, "Severus, he's gone."

"Harry, calm down or you will distress your daughter, now slow down and tell me what exactly the problem is."

"Severus has gone, he left this" Harry waved the sealed envelope in front of both the headmaster and professor McGonagall.

"Have you read the contents?" Harry shook his head, "Then maybe you should do so before we jump to the wrong conclusion."

With shaking hands Harry opened the envelope and took out the letter within, unfolded the parchment, his eyes began to scan over the words written in the unmistakable italic scroll of Severus Snape.

_This letter I have written so that whoever is the unfortunate person who finds my chambers empty (I assume that this will be either my beloved Harry or the great Albus Dumbledore) can know of my whereabouts. _

_Whether I have been gone an hour or a day it does not matter because no doubt I will be either dead or close to it, I have done something that no one else has had the courage to do. _

_There is no prophecy telling us that it must be Harry, the boy-who-lived, who kills Tom Riddle, the great Lord Voldemort, only what has been etched into our minds over time, in truth he is just another wizard, he is no stronger than any one person in our world and he knows this and yet he still fights. _

_He and I have recently produced the most wondrous thing that any two people can create, a child. She is the best thing to happen in my life since I first fell in love with Harry and even though he does not believe this I care for both of them with all of my heart and that is why I have done what I have done._

_I have tried to kill Voldemort tonight, I will not say when I left and I will not say how I knew where to find him and I have already stated my reason, so all I have left is to ask of my Harry not to mourn me, but to celebrate me and remember me, to move on and find someone who can better serve as his husband, a title that many no doubt think I am unworthy of and they would be right. _

_Goodbye my friends who cared for me well and farewell my sweet Harry, I pray that you love again one day and feel love from them in return, this is my gift for you._

_Severus A Snape_

"Death is no gift!" Harry almost shouted, he was enraged, he was in no way shape or form about to loss Severus to a monster like Voldemort, he would never forgive himself if he allowed it to happen.

"Harry you must calm yourself, what Severus has done he has done for good reason, he wanted to give you the chance to live and be happy with Kayla, there is no greater gift than that."

"His death is no gift" Harry repeated, "Where can I find him?"

"I am sorry Harry but I do not know, and even if I did I would not tell you, you are not in the right frame of mind to have any such information."

"Fine, I'll find him myself, you are to take care of my daughter, if you so much as put a hair on her head out of place you won't live to see the sun rise." Harry threatened; Minerva looked taken aback at this address from Harry but did not dare to encourage his wrath by disagreeing to this. "I am going to get a head start" Harry said, directing this at the headmaster who was not looking happy, "I want you to gather everyone that you can together, we're ending this tonight."

"Harry, please think, Severus has risked his life to save yours, do you really believe that going out there to die is the best option?"

"I won't die, I have more than enough to want to live, I'm simply going to bring Severus back before he does something stupid and if he has already done something stupid then don't think that I won't finish what he started seventeen years ago."

With that Harry stormed off, wand posed and anger flaring, no one hurt his family and got away with it, not even Riddle, he had gone one step to far this time and Harry was not going to stand by and let it happen any longer.

Severus had reached the doorway and could see into the room where Voldemort sat gazing into the fire, Nagini had moved from the floor into his lap, Severus could see the Dark Lords wand on the small table beside his green comfy chair.

It really wasn't the sort of chair you'd expect to find an all powerful dark Lord sitting in as his throne really, especially since it reclined. However this thought was pushed to the back of his mind where other such unimportant trains of thought had recently been shoved. He had to be alert for this, he had little option, if he wasn't focused then he could die. Time was slowly ticking away.

Severus entered his hand ready over his breast pocket as he readied himself for the attack.

* * *

I know, I know, it's been a long, long time, not that long but still, longer than I would have liked it to be, however there is a super reason why. I WROTE AN ACTUALL NOVEL! Excuse my outburst but it's very exciting.

If you want to have a look then you can go to the site in my profile (lulu website, I don't want to put it here in case it breaks some kind of rule) so to sum up, sorry for the long wait, go and check out my book and watch this space, more story coming up.

P.S --- Sorry about the cliff hanger but I couldn't resist!


	15. Chapter 15

Walk away and I stumble

Chapter fifteen

"Who goes there?" The Dark Lords voice said, it wasn't his usual drawl, it was weak and croaky which told Severus that Wormtail would not be far away, the deed had to be done soon.

"You knew that this time was coming Voldemort, it is time to end this." Severus said trying his best not to stutter or stumble over the name of his 'master'.

Voldemort turned to face the intruder, he saw the face of Harry Potter before him but he could not fully comprehend that it was in fact the boy-who-lived standing before him.

"Harry Potter, it certainly looks to be you however there is something that you said that makes me believe otherwise. At our last encounter he called me by my birth name and not by my great name now, tell me boy, what is that?"

"Tom Riddle" Severus said simply, he had remembered this from a conversation with Dumbledore and from another with the actual Harry, "I thought that I would give you that dignity before you died."

"Your confidence is astounding, tell me Harry Potter, why is it that you go against our bargain?" Voldemort asked and Severus froze. Bargain?

Harry was panicked, Dumbledore had followed him when he had stormed off, the headmaster not willing to lose his golden boy, he had left Minerva in charge of contacting Order members.

"I have to explain something to you Albus" Harry said as they jogged to the apparition point outside of the Hogwarts gates, "I made a deal of sorts with Tom."

"What?" Dumbledore said both surprised and outraged at this news.

"It was to keep Kayla safe without him knowing about her, it was the only thing that I could think of to keep her safe, I had no choice in the matter."

"What was the deal Harry?"

"That neither of us would attack the other until we had a mutual agreement between us that we would duel and to ensure that we both stuck to this agreement we put our life on the line with an unbreakable vow."

"What made you consider doing such a thing, I know that normally I can take your mistakes in my stride but I am sorry to say that that was the stupidest thing that you have done to date."

"Gee, thanks." Harry said sarcastically as the two of them reached the apparition point and it was then that they hit a major flaw.

"Um, Harry, I hate to point out the major flaw in your plan but how on earth do you plan on tracking them down?" The headmaster asked.

"I love him Sir, we are connected through our daughter, if I cannot find him then no one can, besides I am also connected to Tom in some way or another, combined the two and I should be able to track them easily."

"Then lead the way."

Back at Riddle Manor House Voldemort was laughing, "Who are you?" He chortled, "Because you are not Harry Potter."

"I am Harry Potter." Severus said stubbornly, he was so sure that his plan should have worked; he couldn't think where it had gone wrong.

"If you were truly Harry Potter then you would know that sneaking up on me like this will not only cost me my life but it will also cost you yours, I know that you are no Harry Potter for you did not know of this unbreakable vow." Voldemort paused before speaking again as it seemed that Severus could not. "More company." He said simply.

"Maybe we should get on with it then before they arrive and ruin our fun!"

"Now, that only confirms that you are not Harry Potter, he, unlike me, does not enjoy our duels, he wishes them over with haste, whereas I enjoy to prolong my enjoyment. I do wonder who you are although I have little time, you are excused, my patience wears thin."

"As is mine!" This came from neither Severus or from Voldemort, it was the real Harry this time, Severus couldn't believe what he was seeing. "Go" Harry directed at Severus.

"But …" Severus began trying to protest, Harry however was having none of it.

"GO" He almost shouted, Severus didn't say anything more, this wasn't his place, never had been and never would be. This wasn't about prophecies or whether it was possible that Harry didn't have to fight with Voldemort it was more that Harry had to do it.

Harry had to do it, it wasn't because he wanted to, he really didn't, it wasn't because he felt obliged to do it because he didn't and it wasn't because he felt that it was his duty to the wizarding world, even though it kind of was, none of these was the reason that he had to do it.

He didn't even have to do it because it was his birth right, although that was close, Harry had to do it because he would never believe that Tom was dead if he didn't do it himself. It was a psychological thing when it came down to it, if Harry didn't kill Tom himself then he was never going to be happy.

Severus left and found Dumbledore outside, no words passed between them and however strange that it seemed they sat down and prepared to wait for as long as it took. Severus prepared to wait forever, the polyjuice just starting to wear off as the tears began to fall.

Dumbledore offered no words of comfort seeing as it was Severus' fault that they found their selves there. Albus hated to think of Harry duelling for his life and there wasn't a thing that they could do.

They could see various colours of spells illuminating the grounds outside, worry spread through both of the elder men, concern and anxiety were also mixed in there making them both extremely panicky and not to mention tense.

"What if he dies?" Severus suddenly asked, Dumbledore immediately turned his head to look at his potions professor.

"He won't die Severus, all you need is what's in your heart to know that, have faith in him and he will succeed."

"Because no one has faith in Voldemort."

"Indeed"

Hours passed, well at least what seemed like hours, in reality it was more like minutes, the two wizards waited for all sound to cease and when it did they hardly dared to believe that it was over, they certainly didn't move.

It was Severus who made the first move, he jumped to his feet and almost dashed inside if it hadn't have been for the hand that rested upon his arm.

"Listen" The headmaster instructed and Severus did.

There was sounds of movement, someone in pain almost staggering down the stairs, but they waited impatiently for whoever it was to immerge, their wands were poised in case that it was Voldemort that had survived the battle and not Harry.

The thought was almost unbearable to think but it had of course cross both Severus and Albus' mind even though they willed it to go away as the door opened.

The old wood door creaked open with an ominous slowness and revealed Harry who immediately fell into Severus' outstretched arms, the younger boy was sobbing in complete distress.

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Hope you enjoyed this chapter, it took me absolutely ages to write, but I'm trying to get all my unfinished stories done so I can start a few new ones. Don't forget to review. 


	16. Chapter 16

Walk Away and I stumble

Chapter sixteen

Severus picked Harry up bridal style as the boy fainted, he couldn't bear to think that his lover, the man that he wanted to marry was hurting. Dumbledore however instructed Severus to lie Harry down; the potion professor looked quizzically at the headmaster as he did what he had been instructed.

"We must see what was done, we cannot leave Tom up there, his followers may try to resurrect him, we must make sure that it isn't possible."

"Albus, it is extremely unlikely that that will be the case, look around, no deatheaters have come to aid him."

"They may not have been alerted Severus."

Severus rolled up his sleeve to show his marked forearm, what he saw was probably what a forearm would look like if both black ink and acid had been poured there, Snape gritted his teeth as the Dark Mark was burned viciously from his skin.

"Each and every witch and wizard marked by Voldemort will know of his demise, they will not come back because they know that he is now gone for good."

"Still, I would prefer to be safe than sorry, if we can spare Harry this heartache again then I believe that you and he will live a happy life with Kayla."

"Where is my daughter?"

"She is with Minerva, that is why she is absent and I am here, I asked her to summon the Order members and any other wizard that would be willing to help."

As if right on cue about a hundred witches and wizards all sporting the mark of the Order, a phoenix rising from the flames, their wands ready to fire at the first sign of trouble, they all gasped and stumbled back as if in unison upon seeing Harry on the ground.

"What happened?" One order member asked, this being the question on everyone's lips.

"We must check to see whether Harry has killed Voldemort, I want six of you to proceed carefully upstairs and check if the deed was done, the rest of you, search the house, if any Deatheaters show up capture them if possible and take them to the ministry." The Order members nodded and the headmaster turned to face Severus, "Take Harry to Poppy, I will follow shortly."

Severus picked Harry up once more and apperated away and appeared seconds later in the infirmary at Hogwarts. Poppy was immediately upon them, she removed Harry from Snape's arms and put him on one of the empty beds.

"What has happened to him?" The medi-witch asked as she withdrew her wand.

"He killed Voldemort, please, help him."

"I will do everything in my power Severus, I am not about to let him die, I suggest that you go and find your daughter, I think Harry would like to see the both of you when he wakes up."

"But he will wake up right."

"Yes, he will if you leave and let me get on with getting him better."

Severus did as Poppy had instructed and against his better judgement he left the hospital wing, Dumbledore had mentioned that Minerva was taking care of Kayla so he first headed to her chambers.

It was indeed where the Transfiguration teacher had decided to take Kayla, his daughter was keeping the elderly teacher very busy indeed, mainly because she wouldn't stop crying, when she opened the door to let Severus inside she looked practically relieved.

"Oh Severus, thank Merlin, I don't know what's wrong, I've fed her, changed her and done everything I could think of, she just won't stop crying, please help me." She begged in a way that was so an uncharacteristic it was almost funny, the stern woman had turned into what would almost classify as a blubbering wreck.

"Hand her to me" Minerva did just that, Severus took her and began to rock her slowly and rhythmically in his arms, it took her a little while but seeing her father and experiencing such a soothing motion soon calmed her.

"You seem to be a natural at that Severus, Harry is very lucky to have such a wonderful partner and Kayla is just lucky to have two parents that love her."

"For a while I wondered, could I love her, I never wanted children, I do however want Harry and even though it does not come naturally to me I will learn to love her because that is what Harry wants of me."

"You never did strike me as the one that would ever settle down and have children, your past is littered with heartache but you have come through it all and the result is beautiful and something for you to be proud of."

"I very much agree with you Minerva but I must return to the hospital wing, Harry will be wanting to see this little one when he wakes up."

"How is he, I have had no news from Dumbledore, or the others come to that."

"I believe that Voldemort is dead, although Dumbledore was making sure, Harry is alive and in the hospital wing, Poppy is treating him as we speak, I realty must go to him."

"Yes, I imagine that you should, you are a very lucky man Severus, I hope that you never forget that." Minerva said, Severus nodded and turned to leave, he was eager to get back to the infirmary, he wanted to be there when Harry awoke. Severus sat and waited by Harry's bedside, Kayla sleeping silently in his lap.

Five hours after the final battle between the boy-who-lived and the Dark Lord their saviour awoke, he was so relieved to see Severus sitting there but as he remembered what had happened he felt anger rise within him.

"Why did you do it Severus, why did you go to fight him?" Harry asked, his eyes fixed upon the older man who hadn't noticed Harry was awake.

"I wanted you to live, it was s simple as that, there is nothing written anywhere to say that it had to be you, it didn't have to be, you deserved to live so much more than I did so I thought that I could save you, it always seems to be you saving everyone else."

"But Severus …"

"I know and sorry always seems the hardest word to say but I'm going to say it over and over again until you forgive me, I only did it for our daughter, she needs you so much more than me and I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, I forgive you Severus and I understand why you did it, I don't approve it either but I do understand why but it did have to be me, not because of prophecies or even because I felt that it was my job to kill him, it had to be me because if it wasn't then I would never believe that he was gone, I would never be at piece with myself but now I know, he's gone."

"I thought that I had lost you when you demanded me to leave, I was so stupid, by killing him I could have killed you as well, nothing will ever make me forget that, I just wanted you to be alive and to be happy."

"I am alive and I am happy, I told you Severus, I would never leave if I didn't think that I would be back for you and for our daughter, I want to live and even though that at some points in my life I would never have said that but now is a completely different matter, I love you and I want to marry you."

"Now the war is over I suppose that it is entirely possible that we can marry and live out our lives without argument or danger."

"Without argument? When have we ever lived our lives without argument, the thought is laughable but I agree that we could try, maybe we could set a date." Harry mused as he watched Kayla sleep in Severus' lap, as much as he wanted to hold her he knew that if he did then the connection with her and Severus would be broken, okay that really wasn't the reason, only an excuse, the real reason was that he didn't want her to wake up.

A week past and Poppy allowed Harry to leave the confines of the hospital and he was so relieved at that, it drove him made, all those white walls and how clean it was, reminded him of mental institutions.

Kayla was growing up nicely, she was an extremely pleasant little girl who loved life, they were going to use her as the bridesmaid, the couple had decided that they wanted to be married as soon as physically possible.

So in a weeks time they were going to hold the ceremony in the great hall, it was going to be a small collection of friends, neither of the couple had family that they wanted to invite so that wasn't a problem.

All of Harry's school friends had already been invited and Dumbledore was to conduct the small service, all the teachers were of course going to be in attendance and all there was left to do was to arrange the outfits and the couple were in a slight disagreement over that matter.

Harry wanted them to wear white robes but Severus was very fond of his black and wanted to marry Harry wearing all black however the younger wizard was adamant that his wedding would not look like a funeral.

"Please Severus, it means a lot to me, why can't you wear the white?"

"Because it would make me look like an idiot!" Severus protested.

"But black makes you look dead!" Harry responded heatedly.

"Then pick another colour but I really don't want to wear white."

"Why not, I don't understand and please do not say that it would make you look like an idiot because I think that it would make you look dead sexy, no man could resist you." The Harry paused, "Second thoughts, lets not wear white, your all mine."

"Really, shame, you just persuaded me into wearing them, all males admiring me, something that I really wouldn't turn down." Harry closed the gap between them and kissed his soon to be husband feverishly. "Changed my mind, you're the only man I want admiring me."

"Good, because if anyone so much as looks at you in the wrong way then I will kill them!" Harry said threateningly, however his actions spoke a little louder than his tone. It was working its way down his lover's chest and towards his groin as they kissed once more.

"What about Kayla?" Severus asked as Harry's hand reached its destination and began to massage gently.

"She's with her Auntie Hermione and Uncle Ron, she won't be back until after dinner, we have a good three hours, although, thinking about it, I don't actually think that that will be long enough."

"Long enough for the time being Harry, I am getting older by the day and as much as I crave to have the days back where I could go all day and all night, I unfortunately said goodbye to that a long time ago."

"We'll see about that." Harry said cheekily, he grabbed Severus by the hand and led him to the bedroom where they fell onto the bed still locked together in a passionate embrace.

Clothes were lost almost immediately, it was the only barrier between their bodies and it was soon in piles all around the room.

Three hours later and they were still at it, Ron and Hermione arrived to drop Kayla but were surprised to find that Severus' chambers empty and the clear sounds of love making coming from the bed room. Both Ron and Hermione exchanged looks of horror and hurried from the room taking Kayla with them.

They met up with Dumbledore in the great hall, explained to him what had happened, his eyes immediately began to twinkle with amusement and agreed to take Kayla and take her down to her parents in an hour or so, he had not forgotten all those incidents where they had been shagging for days on end.

Severus collapsed next to Harry breathless and completely worn out, his breathing was fast and his heart was going at three times its normal rate. Harry was in a similar state however the difference was that he was ready to go again whereas Severus would probably have a heart attack if they did.

Lucky for the older wizard there was a knock on the bedroom door just as Harry was about to suggest a different position. "Enter" Severus called out, Harry looked utterly disappointed and then even more so when Dumbledore entered.

"Sorry to interrupt what I expect was going to be the undoing of my potions professor but your friends came round to drop your daughter off and thought that you could do with a while longer, I took the liberty of taking guardianship of her until I could return her to you. Mr and Mrs Weasley-Granger also would like me to pass on the message that they will see you at your wedding."

"Umm, thanks Professor, if you put her in her play pen we'll be right out, your welcome to stay for tea, could you give us a few minutes first though so that we might freshen up."

The headmaster nodded and left taking Kayla with him, both Harry and Severus immediately got out of bed and cast showering spells on themselves as they really didn't have time for an actual shower and then scrambled to get dressed.

Once they were ready they exited their bedroom, Harry went straight to his daughter and picked her up and gave her a cuddle while Severus went to talk to the headmaster, the potions master conjured up tea and biscuits, not to mention some apple juice for Kayla so that they could sit and talk.

"Albus, I have been meaning to talk with you," Severus began, "I have been thinking that maybe it is time that I retire and spend some more time with my family."

"I see, is young Harry pregnant again?" Dumbledore asked.

"No, not yet anyway, well, I don't think I am."

"No, my decision has nothing to do with that, I just think that it is about time that I retire and spend more time with Harry and Kayla, after all I can't expect them to stay at Hogwarts with me all the time and I don't think I could bear to be away from them for long." Severus explained.

"I see, when were you thinking of leaving us?" Albus asked.

"Not until after the marriage, we're going to be moving into the cottage that Harry owns for the time being until we find somewhere a little bigger."

"That part you never mentioned to me." Harry said, raising a questioning eyebrow.

"I'll explain later" The potions master promised.

"I will arrange for everything to be finalised then and I will send the papers that you need to sign over first thing in the morning, I hope that you two have the best life available to you, I really do, after everything that you have been through you certainly deserve it."

_A week later and Harry and Severus were married, Harry wore red robes and Severus green to represent their houses, as a wedding present Dumbledore brought the ghosts of James, Lily and Sirius from the afterlife so that they could see the wedding. _

_A month after that Harry discovered that he was pregnant once again, this time with twin boys. By the time Llewellyn and Jim-Bexley were born the happy couple had purchased a large six bedroom property as Harry had convinced Severus that there were going to be more children to come and of course he was right. _

_After Llewellyn and Jim-Bexley came Carlene a year later and then two years after that their final child Alicia-May. _

_All five children attended Hogwarts and each caused just as much trouble as Harry had during his school days but fortunately there were no Dark Lords to disrupt the fun. _

**The End**

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I hope that you all enjoyed this story, leave me a review telling me what you thought and which story that you would like me to finish next. Also there will be no sequel to this as I already have at least two sequels on my to-write list. Sorry to disappoint anyone. 


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